It’s the summer of the road trip. Due to the coronavirus pandemic, many of us still feel unsafe on planes and trains. Plus, as anyone who went through an On The Road phase in college can tell you, long car rides are fun, and romantic, and a little sexy. Which brings us to: road trip sex. That's right. If folks are getting behind the wheel this summer, you can bet your last face mask that they’re also getting it on in (and around) the backseat.
Car sex is a formative experience for young couples. And right around now, everyone — road trippers or not — are really starting to feel stifled by the lack of privacy that comes with sheltering in place with roomies or parents. Solution: an automobile-assisted romp. As Moraya Seeger DeGeare, a licensed couples therapist and co-owner of BFF Therapy in Beacon, NY, puts it: "Car sex is for everyone.”
Of course, road trip sex carries some inherent risks. DeGeare filled us in on how to stay safe during your fling — while still having fun.
Find a secluded spot
When doing the dirty in a car, location matters a lot. Having sex in public is against the law. “Worse case scenario, you’ll be a sex offender,” DeGeare says. “A huge one to avoid is a public playground, but you might be able to make it work in a park where you’re camping."
Try pulling off on a gravel road in the countryside or an out-of-the-way corner of an empty parking lot, somewhere where you'll have advance warning if someone's coming. Remember, it’s not chill to accidentally force an unsuspecting third party to bear witness to your tryst. Trailheads are another possible option, according to DeGeare, though she cautions that more people are hiking during the pandemic. “And, for the record, I’m no lawyer,” she adds. She’s giving sex advice, not legal advice.
Since you’ll probably be travelling to somewhere you’re not super familiar with on a road trip, scout out your surroundings before you heat things up. “People, let’s not be idiots,” she says. "Go to a park somewhere and hang out for a bit." Spend at least an hour stretching your legs to give yourself time to figure out what's happening around you. "If you stop and, say, eat your sandwiches first, you'll have a much better idea of the area," DeGeare says.
Think about security cameras
If you decide to just roll into an empty parking lot at Home Depot at night, it might feel like you’re all alone — but there could be security cameras. “If that’s the case, you’re more likely to get the cops called on you,” DeGeare says.
Another security-related consideration: Having sex somewhere fairly abandoned at night might be great for not getting caught, but it can also be unsafe. Keep your car doors locked if you do this. “If you want to be really safe, finding a private place during the day to have sex might be a really good choice,” DeGeare says.
Cover the windows
If your car windows aren’t already super tinted, improvise. You can use a reflective sun shade, or stick a a T-shirt in a cracked window and then roll it up to create a makeshift curtain. (Again, this should be for added security — not to attempt to block the view of a couple picnicking nearby. Be courteous, and be discreet.)
Let's face it: Unless you have an SUV or van, vehicles usually aren't the comfiest for fooling around. So pack a pillow, to create a buffer between your skin and the window crank or steering wheel. Oh, also: Pack lube, plenty of condoms, and dental dams.
Try different positions
You might feel confined in the car at first, but ultimately it can make for a super intimate experience. “Make the restrictions sexy,” DeGeare says. “How often are you sitting in a seat in such a tight space with someone straddling you?”
Still, she suggests adjusting your expectations. “I think car sex is much more about pleasure and giving it to your partner, rather than mutual pleasure,” DeGeare says. “I like to remind people you don’t need to orgasm at the same time, and as long as you’re listening to each other it will be a great experience.”
She says that it may be easier to give each other oral in a car than other types of sex. You or your partner can lean over from the passenger’s seat, or open a door and have one person kneel on a duffel bag as they eat the other out. "It’s a different level, so it might feel good,” she says.
Generally, she says the backseat is a great place to mix it up with positions, whether you’re scissoring, doing reverse cowgirl, or any other positions. “Push the front seats forward, and maybe put duffel bags on the ground in the back with pillows over them to create more of a bed-like experience.
If you’re doing it in the driver’s seat, you can use the steering wheel to help you thrust down, and give you balance as you swivel your hips a bit to mix it up. You can use car doors and handles to brace yourself.
If you’re in the front, be careful. “No one wants a stick shift in their ass,” DeGeare jokes.
Remember: Road head is for when the car is in park
Although it may sound thrilling to receive oral while driving, it’s not safe. One column from The Daily Reveille called it as dangerous as drunk driving, although there aren’t official stats to support the statement. You could get seriously hurt, and if you’re driving in a low-sitting car, people in SUVs could see you and call the state troopers.
It doesn’t have to be a quickie just because it’s in a car
“In movies and porn they make sex out to be this magical moment, which is unrealistic," DeGeare says. “That’s not how life works.” But that doesn’t mean you can’t step up your car sex game and try to make it more romantic. DeGeare recommends banishing the pine tree air freshener and instead bringing some essential oils along on the trip.
“Having some lavender essential oils or body oil in the car will make everything smell so good, and really up the romance,” she says. “Imagine using the massage oil, laying some blankets down in the back sea, surrounding yourself with sexy music. It could be like a mini-honeymoon type moment for you."
If it’s a hot day, stay off the hood
If the sun is beaming on a blistering day, I fervently do not recommend trying to use the hood of the car to brace yourself or lay back on. In my experience, it will be excruciating to touch, and you could even burn yourself. Scorched skin is not the sort of “steamy” hookup you’re looking for, I’m sure.
Make sexy stops
The best part of going out on the open road is stopping along the way. DeGeare recommends looking up local lakes and watering holes to visit. If they’re secluded, you could try skinny dipping together. If you decide to go on a hike and the path that seems fairly abandoned, you can have a delicious make out session behind a tree.
She also says it could be fun to rent kayaks, and then paddle out to a little secluded island or beach where you can make love.
Incorporate road trip snacks
Because of the COVID-19 outbreak, DeGeare says you may want to avoid stopping for snacks and food too often, just to limit your contact. Bring a cooler with you in the trunk, and use the ice to stimulate each other in the back seat (just have a towel or T-shirt at the ready to clean up messes afterward) “You can try putting the ice on each other’s nipples, just don’t do it for too long or use dry ice," she says.
You can also pack some whipped cream in the cooler if you want to get really playful on the road. If you do decide to stop DeGeare recommends going to a local co-op or farmer’s market. Perhaps you can pick up some strawberries to get playful with during your later trysts.
“Eat local,” DeGeare says with a laugh.