The thread continued: "I’m sorry I MADE YOU feel that way, is an apology because you’re actually taking accountability. And if you don’t feel sorry for what you did, just don’t apologize. No apology is better than an insincere apology." (While we are here, see also: "I’m sorry you feel that way's" close cousin, "I’m sorry you took it that way".)
In late November, U.K. Home Secretary Priti Patel gave a masterclass in the non-apology apology when an official investigation concluded that she had bullied members of her own staff. Addressing the findings in a broadcast interview, Patel said: "I’m sorry that my behaviour has upset people and I’ve never intentionally set out to upset anyone." It may sound like an apology but listen closely and you'll realize that it lacks sincerity and fails to take any real ownership or accountability.
It's the equivalent of telling someone who is wound up to 'calm down' – it has the exact opposite effect.
They're apologizing for your feelings, which is neither their job nor their right. Their job is to apologize for their actions, behaviours or words.
In many 'I'm sorry you feel that way' situations, the person might just as well say they don't care how you are feeling, as that might at least facilitate an honest conversation.