In an interview in Elle's January 2020 issue, the 38-year-old singer, songwriter, and actress answered questions fans sent in via direct message and email. When a member of the BeyHive asked about whether she was disappointed her album Lemonade didn’t receive more awards, Bey gave this thoughtful answer:
“Success looks different to me now. I learned that all pain and loss is in fact a gift. Having miscarriages taught me that I had to mother myself before I could be a mother to someone else. Then I had Blue, and the quest for my purpose became so much deeper. I died and was reborn in my relationship, and the quest for self became even stronger,” she said.
Beyoncé previously discussed the subject in her HBO documentary Life Is But a Dream in 2013. She called the miscarriages “the saddest thing I've ever been through." Jay-Z also rapped about the emotional journey in his 2012 song “Glory.” “Last time the miscarriage was so tragic, we was afraid you'd disappear, but nah, baby, you magic,” he sang of daughter Blue Ivy. Now the couple are parents to three kids, Blue Ivy, 7, and the twins, Sir and Rumi, 2.
Bey is by no means alone. It’s estimated that about 10 percent of clinically recognized pregnancies end in a loss or miscarriage, with about 80 percent of those happening in the first trimester, according to the American College Of Obstetricians and Gynecologists.
Every woman’s experience with miscarriage is different. But for Bey, it seems as if the experience put her fame and family into perspective. “It’s difficult for me to go backwards,” she said in the Elle interview. “Being ‘number one’ was no longer my priority. My true win is creating art and a legacy that will live far beyond me. That’s fulfilling."