What I Learned About Drake After Trolling His 32nd Birthday Party

Photo: George Pimentel/WireImage/Getty Images.
Drake turned 32 on Wednesday. But on Tuesday night, he threw a 2000s-themed birthday party that made those of us born in the the late ‘80s and early ‘90s feel really old. I mean seriously, are the 2000s already old school? I don’t like it. Anyway, the rapper nailed the theme at Goya Studios in Los Angeles by including cars from MTV’s Pimp My Ride and a Blockbuster Video (for you Gen Z readers: that’s a brick and mortar place we had to go to get new movies before Netflix existed) wall. Guests could purchase airbrushed t-shirts with his face on it, and it wouldn’t have been a 2000s party without an abundance of oversized jerseys and durags.
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Per usual, Instagram leads me to believe that a good time was had by all. But the party also revealed some details about the party that say quite a lot about Champagne Papi himself. Allow me to present my evidence and you can come to your own conclusions, but here are all of the weird things I learned about Drake after ending up in his 32nd birthday party IG rabbit hole for an hour.
He keeps a very weird schedule.
Did I mention that this huge bash was on a random Tuesday? I don’t know how all celebrities live; but as for me and my household, Tuesdays are for crying over This Is Us and being sound asleep by 11pm. Period. Look, I know that celebrities don’t operate on a traditional 9-5 schedule. But the fact that Drizzy threw the best party of autumn on the the weirdest day of the week is random. I can’t even begin to imagine what his sleep schedule is like. He had a great turn out, too. Swizz Beats, French Montana, and Jordyn Woods were amongst the partygoers.
He really loves his mom.
There was a sentimental "Sandra Rose" room at party with lit candles, pink and white flower bouquets, and pictures of himself at various ages with his mom, Sandi Graham. We already knew that Drake told us in “God’s Plan” that he only loves his bed and his mama. And the desire to celebrate the woman who gave you life on the day you were born makes perfect sense. But maybe take her to dinner instead of creating a shrine for your drunk friends to accidentally deface?
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He can’t hold a grudge.
Speaking of the guest list, there were two really interesting attendees there: Diddy and Chris Brown, both of whom are former rivals of Drizzy. Over the years, Brown and Drake have been notoriously pitted against each other in the fight for Rihanna’s heart. The pair even came to blows at an NYC club a few years ago. Similarly, Diddy and Drake’s friendship has been documented as extremely tumultuous. They also fought in a nightclub — their brawl was in Miami — and the rumour that Diddy once slapped Drake just won’t go away. Apparently it’s water under the bridge now. It’s quite possible that Drake is the only Scorpio to ever live who doesn’t thrive by holding eternal drudges. Maybe he reserves all of his resentment for his exes. I’m calling it now: Pusha T is going to be at next year’s event, but don’t expect to see Rih.
His kink is women with designer handbags.
Drake took party favours to another level when he raffled off $5,000 USD Chanel bags. Jordyn Woods was even one of the lucky winners according to her Instagram story. Less than a year ago, Drake told the Hollywood Reporter that he was collecting Birkin bags to give to his future wife as a gift. I am starting to think that Drake’s "secret" fetish may be hidden in plain sight.
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