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Looking at the difference between these two photos today, and thought it was important to share something with all of you. 2nd photo, a few months ago: I was depressed. I had no appetite, was drinking way too much, smoking, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t eat. But I was still taking photos on social media and pretending everything was great. I was going through a difficult situation that left me mentally, emotionally, and spiritually bankrupt and it had taken its toll physically. The feeling of despair is a relatable one, so I feel a responsibility to anyone else going through something difficult to say that it’s ok to not be ok. 1st photo is from the other day, and I am looking healthier. I have my appetite back and am treating my body correctly. We’re all too familiar with the “highlight REEL” of Instagram so I wanted to get REAL and tell you it’s not always as amazing as it seems. I’m sharing this because 1. I want to emphasize what we already know: Instagram is everyone’s best version of themselves and their lives. It can trick us into thinking everything is perfect in other’s worlds. Which is NOT true. We are all more alike than we think, navigating life with similar ups and downs; good times and bad. We never really know what someone is going through, so it’s unfair to judge/compare. 2. I hope this helps others who might be going through a hard time and feeling like they need to “have it all together.” Social media can create a crazy amount of pressure to live up to an idealistic standard of “perfection” (which obviously doesn’t exist!). Hard times happen and the most important part is putting one foot in front of the other, knowing the moment will pass, and being patient with yourself. No filter is going to take away from the normal ups and downs of life that we all have. Our imperfections/hardships make us all perfectly relatable, taking this journey through life together. I think the more we understand how connected that makes all of us, the easier and more rewarding this life journey can be. Love you guys!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️
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These last years have been bumpy to say the least. I’ve opened up about it. What’s funny is that when I look back, I started these years in this mirage of the fashion girl, living the “high life” (dumb expression). Truth is, after a few years of exploring that world, I became miserable and I felt very far from myself. Except I had no idea of who I was. So I tried to stay the person I knew. Even if I was agonizing. That’s when life starting getting hard, and harder, brutalizing me into letting go of that old self I was so attached to. In 2018, it came crumbling down - until finally, a flower started growing again on the ashes. When I see this photo, shot by my sister, who was there every moment even when she didn’t get what the fuck I was doing, when I see myself with no make up, wearing whatever clothes... When I see myself feeling so at home in nature - me who ended up being so crushed by the buildings of NYC... When I see this photo of me, here in Corsica where I grew up learning to chat (like literally have conversations) with nature... When I see it I can hear my sister saying “sit here - I have to take a photo, look at this, it’s the Tree of Life” and i thought of the medal engraved of a Tree of Life I am wearing that I bought in a church store when I was so sad I sat and prayed... When I see it I remember when, a few months ago, I made the promise to myself to live in my truth whatever the consequences. And life started flowing again. When I see it, I wouldn’t change anything. I want to thank 2018 (17, 16) for the lessons. And thank the woman I was, who did nothing but her best - and is still here inside (and still wants to steal my sister’s Balenciaga sneakers). In this moment, to me, nature, quiet and conversing with the trees is essential. Might be completely different to you. Allow yourself to love what you love, grow, fuck up, and to change, even if the world around you resists it. People will always judge. Change is hard, but it is wonderful - ask the butterflies! And have a wonderful last few hours of 2018 - in France we don’t say HNY before it’s the New Year so I’ll be back for that ? Ok love you I talk to much bye ?