In a perfect alternate reality, moms-to-be would be able to communicate with their babies via umbilical cord. That way, by the time their due dates arrived, they wouldn't be saddled with roughly one million unanswered questions about what kind of person they're about to bring into the world. Unfortunately, no such reality exists (as far as we know), and pregnant women end up posing their queries to bumps that can't answer back. The final episode of Expecting, RIOT's series about what it's really like to be a pregnant millennial, finds Mikala having a one-sided conversation with her yet-to-be-born baby. She would like him to answer the following questions (among many others): "Who are you? Are you going to want to have a religion? Are you going to be cooler than me? Am I eating too much curry?" These are only a handful of the questions she runs by her bump in the video above. And Mikala's not alone here: It's pretty normal to have a lot of questions when you're pregnant — and that includes questions for the actual baby who's still in utero.
The fact that expecting parents know so little about their future children is, of course, part of the thrill and excitement of impending parenthood. As Mikala's questions push farther and farther into the future ("Are you going to jizz in socks? What do we do with socks when they're full of jizz?"), the one thing that's clear is she simply can't wait to see the person her baby will become. Watch the episode in full above. What questions would you ask?