Kesha has always been bravely open about her struggles, and this time is no different. In an interview for the cover of Rolling Stone, Kesha described the lengths she went to in order to hide her eating disorder, and opened up about the moment that pushed her to finally seek help.
The singer said that she felt pressured to be a certain size to be successful in the music industry, telling the magazine, "I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food."
The shame she felt about food led her to starve herself and to purge when she did eat, all while those around her unknowingly encouraged her habits.
"The worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked," she said. "They would just be like, 'Oh, my gosh, keep doing whatever you’re doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning.'"
As her eating disorder continued, she tried to hide the symptoms from people around her, and eventually felt too much pressure to appear perfect.
"I just had all this mounting anxiety," she said. "And then finally I was like, 'Fuck. This. Shit. Fuck this shit. I’m hungry!' And I am so anxious that I feel like I’m going to explode from all the secrets. All the secret times I’m pretending to eat or other times I’m purging, and I’m trying to not let anybody know."
It was soon after that point, she said, that she knew she wanted to seek help. She asked her mom to meet her after the party, telling Rolling Stone, "I didn't know how to even eat. At that point, I'd forgotten how to do it."
Her mother then flew with her to rehab, where she began working with a nutritionist.
Since beginning her recovery, Kesha has been outspoken about her struggle, and has appeared in a PSA for the National Eating Disorders Association urging anyone else who suffers to reach out for help.
If you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in need of support, please call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. For a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741.
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