Bragging about not committing fraud to get your children into college is like bragging that you actually did your homework for once — congrats on doing the thing you're expected to do.
Now that we've pretty much finished rubbernecking the college admissions scandal in which over 30 parents, including Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman, bribed or faked their children's ways into elite schools including the University Of Southern California, a new wave of equally annoying celebrity behaviour is on the rise.
It all started the day news of the scandal broke. Twitter was ablaze with grown adults humble-bragging about their SAT scores (I bravely cannot remember mine) and the colleges they got into all on their own.
“I studied for MONTHS for the SAT. Twice, sometimes three times a week. Tons of practice tests. Ended up taking the SAT multiple times as well,” the 24-year-old son of Rob Lowe, John Owen Lowe, tweeted. “College apps were no joke…the amount of stress kids put into that to potentially lose a spot to someone unfairly is horrible.”
I studied for MONTHS for the SAT. Twice, sometimes three times a week. Tons of practice tests. Ended up taking the SAT multiple times as well. College apps were no joke... the amount of stress kids put into that to potentially lose a spot to someone unfairly is horrible.— John Owen Lowe (@Johnny_L0we) March 12, 2019
On their own, individual tweets like this are fine, and Lowe made sure to lament the real problem, which is that underserved students deserve the spots taken by rich celebrities. However, one after another makes it feel like I'm back in junior year of high school and reading Facebook status after Facebook status of my peers getting accepted into college while at the same time being stuck in traffic behind a line of cars that all have "Proud Parent Of An Honor Student" bumper stickers. Nobody asked!!
Plus, all that bragging can backfire. Earlier this month, Dr. Dre posted and promptly deleted an Instagram brag about his daughter Truly that read, "My daughter got accepted into USC all on her own. No jail time!!!"
It wasn't long before fans pointed out that while, sure, Dr. Dre did not fraudulently get his daughter admitted into USC, he and music exec Jimmy Iovine did donate $70 million (USD) to the school to create the Jimmy Iovine and Andre Young Academy for Arts, Technology and the Business of Innovation back in 2013, which certainly didn't hurt her chances.
Today, Kimora Lee Simmons one-upped everyone with the news that her 16-year-old daughter Aoki has been accepted into Harvard.
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Yaaayyyyy @aokileesimmons!! She’s on her way to #Harvard!! We are sooo super proud of YOU!! Such hard work and only 16! You did it! It took years of super dedication and lots of tears! But HERE YOU ARE!!! GO GIRL!!! Enjoy the journey! We are excited to see the great things you will do! Sorry I’m one of those SUPERLOUD MAMAS! She also got into Dartmouth, Vassar, Barnard etc! Woooo! #BeautyAndBrains!😍🎉❤️🙏🏼💃🏻
"Quite honestly, she really did it on her own merit, and we're really so proud because Aoki really can't row or anything like that," Simmons said, in reference to Lori Loughlin allegedly getting her daughters recruited to USC as members of the rowing team despite not playing the sport. "There was really no hope for us in that area."
16!! Harvard!! I could never compete with that, so I'm feeling seriously humbled by Aoki and, frankly, grumpy about it.
It's not that people like Aoki and John Owen Lowe don't deserve to brag about their accomplishments (let me reiterate: 16 and going to Harvard) but just that celebrities are definitely about to be a lot louder about their brilliant kids in a way that is going to get them muted. But, to be fair, with kids in Harvard and USC, they probably don't care that a 26-year-old woman isn't reading their posts anyway.