Cursing Tia Needs To Be The Next F***ing Bachelorette

Photo: Courtesy of ABC.
Tia from The Bachelor went home last night, much to the dismay of Tia herself, who seemed like one of the few women on the show genuinely interested in Arie Luyendyk, Jr. She was also one of the few contestants on The Bachelor to swear. Like, really swear. Tia, whose last name is Booth, is one of the swear-prone contestants in recent history. Usually, The Bachelor edits around cursing. But for Booth, her sound bites often came accompanied by network-appropriate beeps.
On last night's episode, when Booth's father triumphantly mispronounced the Bachelor's name, Booth threw her hands in the air.
"Arie? F**ck!" she says. (He pronounced it ay-ree, not ah-ree, as it's supposed to be. Goddammit dad, stop embarrassing Tia!) Her cursing humanizes her — where most contestants give hygienic, templatized answers, Booth's are a little sharper, in part because she curses so freely.
When Booth had to do the can-can at the Moulin Rouge on The Bachelor, she told the camera plainly, "I'm fucking horrible." In a deleted scene from the Fort Lauderdale episode, Booth exclaimed at Luyendyk's collar bone scar: "Holy shit, dude!" She swears when she sees a date card, she swears when she's joking — Booth just likes to swear, like all healthy people should. (There is some evidence to support specious claim: In 2014, a study performed by psychologists at Keele University found that swearing ameliorates pain.)
Her swearing also makes her more "relatable," a highly covetable quality in Bachelor universe. It's easy to say you are emotional. But to swear is to display emotion. At the very least, we perceive curses like "fuck" and "damn" as demonstrations of genuine emotion. While the other women said, "I'm freaking out," Booth actually freaked out via a few choice expletives.
Moreover, her cursing keeps this mellow season from being too soporific. Luyendyk's season has been notoriously boring, namely because there isn't a central compelling love story. Rachel Lindsay's season of The Bachelorette gave us the story of clamshell Peter Kraus struggling to open up. Nick Viall's season of The Bachelor gave us the story of Corinne Olympios conquering the show, once and for all. Bachelor in Paradise season 4 was an epic bonfire of a season — production halt and all — and before that, season 3 gave us one of the franchise's most confusing love stories. In comparison, season 22 of The Bachelor is as dull as the countryside. Booth's frequent expletives are a welcome reprieve from the tiresome activity of watching people who don't seem to like each other fall in love. (No matter how much you tell me you're "falling in love," Lauren B., I cannot be convinced!)
It's also proof that Booth would be a wonderful Bachelorette. A good Bachelorette is candid, emotional, and good at giving sound bites. (The best Bachelorette thus far was Kaitlyn Bristowe, who eschewed the franchise rules in favor of having fun. She and her winner, Shawn Booth, are still together.) Booth could provide all those qualities — she'd be a fucking great Bachelorette.
Or, in the words of Arie Luyendyk, Jr., "I love that!"
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