The Internet Is Not Okay With This Man Putting Mayo In His Coffee

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Yesterday, a Twitter user known online as @_SonOfADeitch looked to his over 1500 followers for some cooking advice. He tweeted, "I'm out of milk & I'm making boxed Mac & cheese. Can I substitute cottage cheese for the milk?" While you might expect most of his followers to comment and say, yes or no — most likely, just no — the tweet got one totally unexpected response that greatly offended many folks reading the thread. A man named Jim Salisbury commented on the tweet and wrote, "I once used mayo in coffee when out of half and half. not half bad."
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According to GrubStreet, the user who left the mayo-milk replacement hack under @_SonOFADeitch's tweet is actually a well-known Philadelphia sport writer, but Salisbury's celebrity did not prevent him from being totally roasted by his fellow Twitter users for his mayonnaise soaked confession. The first comment came from the original tweeter, who simply wrote, "Jesus Christ that sounds insane." From there, the indignant reactions kept on coming.
You may remember that earlier this year, someone else on Twitter got eviscerated for eating mayonnaise on pizza, and we stood up for them saying, "As strongly as these people feel about this weird pizza, I would say I feel even more strongly that mayonnaise tastes good on literally everything." Well, the tweet from Jim Salisbury has forced this writer to eat her words. While I feel bad that he's getting flack for his desperate creamer substitute, I will never defend putting mayonnaise in your coffee. By doing that, you ruin two amazing things, coffee and mayonnaise. However, I do support @_SonOfADeitch slapping some mayo on his boxed macaroni and cheese. Seriously, y'all should try it.