All The Dogs That Should Have Been Cast In Big Little Lies

Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
The world of Big Little Lies is opulent and romantic, as well as treacherous and threatening. For the women of Monterey, California, life's luxuries are easily outweighed by the complexities of their personal lives, which they keep under-wraps in order to maintain their glossy, perfect image as a mother, wife, and socialite. They have perfect homes filled with imperfect people. Their children (all in the same first grade class) wear stylish clothes. Their cars are shiny and new. Nothing is overlooked in terms of outward appearance (even simple Jane, played by the youthful Shailene Woodley, gets her shit together to look presentable in her darkest hours). And while you may think, following the resonating and artful series finale on Sunday, that you know all the sneaky lies around the town, you don't. The biggest mystery of all has not yet been addressed, and I won't be satisfied until we talk about it: Why did no one own a dog?
Not one of the women have pets of any kind, and it's incredibly odd and upsetting because everyone knows that dogs improve the lives of everyone around them. Of course these deep-seeded and dangerous secrets wouldn't just go away with the presence of a puppy. But I do think it's interesting that the show runners thought no household should house woman and man's best friend.
I honestly think a dog would have significantly improved the lives of each of these women. So, I'm fixing it. As a dedicated BLL fan I have taken matters into my own hands and cast a selection carefully curated dogs, one for each of the main women (and one for Ed, played by Adam Scott, because he just screams 'Dog Person'). Big Little Woofs, season 2: let's go.
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Celeste (Nicole Kidman)

Celeste is dedicated to her two twin boys (enough to endure years of mental, physical and emotional abuse at the hands of her insecure, aggressive, and manipulative husband, Perry, played byAlexander Skarsgård). Her love for her boys would also then dictate the breed of dog she would bring into her (gorgeous) home. A breed that's soft for her to cuddle and lay with on the couch, and a loyal breed that the boys can play and wrestle with.

Celeste would own a....
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Photo: Getty Images.

Celeste would get two. One for Max and one for Josh. While it's tempting to think that the boys would be oh-so-adorable with a matching set of golden retriever puppies, Celeste doesn't seem like the type to clean up dog hair all day, hence the hypoallergenic alternative. Goldendoodles are the cuddlest of cuddly dogs and could help to brighten anyone in the household's day just with one little puppy stare.
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Madeleine (Reese Witherspoon)

The bossiest of the bunch, Madeleine would spend hours researching the best breed to suit her lifestyle, and her outfits. Something cute, but not too cute. She needs a pup to accompany her to the theater, to carpool, and to grab lattes with her girls.

Madeliene would own a...
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Photo: Getty Images.
Cavalier King Charles Spaniel

This a dog fit for royalty (seriously, the breed makes appearances in royal portraits going way back). Cavalier King Charles spaniels are an extremely brave, social, and loyal breed, all qualities which Madeleine obviously possesses. They also have a pretty good resting bitch face, which goes well with Madeleine's early episodes where she leans into her role of Queen of the One-Liners.
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Jane (Shailene Woodley)

Jane is tired of running from her past (seriously, she never stops running) but it always seems to catch up with her. She's strong, she's independent, but she's also scared. She needs a dog that she feels will protect her and Ziggy (Iain Armitage), while she puts together the puzzle pieces of her fractured life.

Jane would own a...
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German Shepherd

If Jane is willing to sleep with a gun under her pillow and invest in hours at the shooting range, it seems wise to have her adopt (or buy) a German Shepherd, a breed known for being smart and protecting of its owners when trained correctly. The dog would also make a great running partner. (Sweater not included).
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Bonnie (Zoë Kravitz)

Bonnie, it turns out, had the biggest secret and surprise ending of all. The calm and zen yoga teacher would definitely be part of Monterey's local "Adopt Don't Shop" chapter. She'd be willing to care for dogs of all ages and health needs because that's just the kind of woman she is.

Bonnie would own a...
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Photographed by Molly Cranna.

A glorious, special mixed breed dog with a spunky personality would fit perfectly into Bonnie and Nathan's (James Tupper) eclectic, plant-filled home. The dog would only have three legs, of course, or possibly be old, or (dare we say it?) dying, and Bonnie would give it the best final years of its life. Maybe even cure it with a few crystals?
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Renata (Laura Dern)

Ah Renata — the hard-working CEO and most hated woman in Monterey (mostly because she wants it that way). She's intense, she's fashionable, and she has perfectly coiffed hair. While she may not lounge around with a drooling dog on her lap anytime soon, Amabella (Ivy George) would surely love a furry companion around the house while her mother is off at work, or ruining Jane's life. (Just kidding, they're friends now.)

Renata would own a...
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Photo: Getty Images.
Afghan Hound

I mean, talk about a doggy doppelgänger. They're both tall, slender, striking, and look like they have something to tell you. This breed is basically Renata in dog form. I love it.
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Photo: Hilary Bronwyn Gayle/Courtesy of HBO.
Ed (Adam Scott)

Ed deserves his own dog, simple as that.

Ed would own a...
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Photo: Getty Images.

Outgoing schnauzer with some hilarious name that only makes him laugh. We also can't deny that Ed's beard has become a major character itself on the show, and he'd be keen to have a little guy sporting the same facial hair as him.