Not only is season 2 of Master of None a complete and utter delight, but it also contains an essential guide to online and app dating as a millennial. Sure, the show touches on heavier topics like religion, racism, love, and despair, but if one thing's for sure it's that the series writers Alan Yang and Aziz Ansari have a knack for opening lines. For those are you that are not #blessed enough to have ever been on a dating app, an opening line is beyond crucial, regardless of whether you are a man or a woman. It's the first contact you have with someone who could potentially be The One (lol) or at least someone you may go on a first date with. Either way — it's Important. And Ansari as Dev, aka Lil Bud, and Eric Wareheim as Arnold, aka Big Bud, are here to be your pick-up line gurus. Your match-ups muses. Your flirty GIF guides. Let's investigate what makes their opening lines so damn good.
First up, we look at the "Hi Cutie" text from Episode 2. In"Le Nozze" (which is Italian for "the wedding" referring to the Italian wedding of Arnold's ex girlfriend, which the two buds attend), Arnold and Dev venture around Italy consuming mass quantities of food and catch up on each other's love lives. Dev's is less than illustrious, while Arnold's "lady situation" is at its peak, thanks to his many, many dating apps. Seated at an outdoor cafe, Arnold passes Dev his phone and asks “Can you take a video for me?” and creates a custom GIF of himself kissing a sandwich and waving at the camera. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the "Hi cutie" pick-up line. And it's truly flawless.
“Does that really work?” Dev asks his Big Bud as said friend picks up a sandwich, kissing it while waving at the iPhone. Arnold responds: “Dude, who wouldn’t want to date this guy? He loves food, he loves travel, he’s devilishly handsome, and he knows how to do a classic wave and kiss. I wanna say 'Hi' and they’re definitely all cuties."
Later in episode 4, "First Date," we get a closer glimpse at Dev's online dating style, which includes a very iconic and (apparently) fruitful pick-up line centered around Whole Foods. Yes, food is always the way to someone's heart. To every single woman he matches with on the fictional app, he offers up the following question: "Going to Whole Foods, want me to pick you up anything?" I mean, who could not respond to that? I am always in need of something from Whole Foods. Damn, he's good.
In honor of the show's second season Netflix premiere, here is a guide to creating your very own "Hi Cutie" GIF, to send to your own cuties. (I'm confident that you can figure out the Whole Foods line one yourself.) Kissing sandwiches is weird, but then again so is online dating, so just lean into it and follow along.