Alison Brie and Dave Franco are married after a two-year-long engagement, People reports. They met during Mardi Gras in New Orleans in 2011, were engaged in 2015, and have now pulled off the near-impossible and gotten married in secret.
"We just keep paring [the wedding] down and paring it down," he said on the red carpet. "I don't know. We might just elope."
We know literally nothing about the wedding, so they've achieved something only the Goslings, Medenzes, and Portmans of the world have by conducting their nuptials completely out of the spotlight. That's in direct contrast to brother James, who never met a camera he didn't love.
They haven't sated our thirst for a really top-quality celeb wedding, but we can still offer our grudging respect for their Seal Team 6-level ninja secrecy. Were they married in all black in the dead of night aboard a Blackhawk helicopter? Who knows, we'll have to wait for the Sy Hersh investigation to find out what truly happened.
Oh, and Brie's engagement ring was designed by Irene Neuwirth. Her ring is a rose-cut diamond with a rose quartz sparkler and a diamond pave.