We're often taught to embrace all our flaws and love ourselves unconditionally. But Kathleen Elizabeth Tyler, the blogger behind the Instagram account @fallingintoselflove, knows that's easier said than done. So, she's offered the internet some advice that's a bit more actionable.
If trying to direct loving thoughts toward yourself doesn't work, she suggested in an Instagram post shared by Shape, pretend you're someone else.
"Think of a someone you know and love inside of your mind, and then allow your thoughts regarding them to flow freely throughout your brain," she wrote. "Now try to convince yourself to say some of the horrible things we say about our own bodies but make it about them."
She's had trouble doing this, she says, not just because it would be cruel but also because she doesn't focus on others' looks as much as she has focused on her own.
"When you have had the chance to truly experience the beauties inside of another person’s soul, physical traits no longer hold very much ground in your opinions of that person," she wrote. "But what I find most interesting about this concept is that oftentimes, people don’t realize that this phenomenon applies to how they view themselves as well. Once we really know ourselves, we begin to accept that we have worlds of beauty inside of us."
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If trying to say what you tell yourself to a loved one doesn't work, YouTube star Rachel Levin has another strategy: try saying them to your yourself as a child. In a video that went viral in September, she shows that most of us wouldn't call our younger selves ugly, so why do we direct comments like that toward ourselves now?
Tyler has reached a point where she can give herself more positive messages, she wrote. "Yes, I do have stretch marks, scars, and stomach rolls (which, believe it or not also contribute to my beauty), [but] I have so much more as well. I am my radiant smile. I am my heart that yearns to help others. I am my mind that never gave up even during the toughest of battles. I am me, and I am beautiful, and no amount of hurt, violation, or hatred from anyone will ever be able to tamper with the self love I have come in touch with again."