17 Things You Can Confidently Toss From Your Closet (Because They’re Never Coming Back)

If you have even a tiny bit of hoarder in you, you likely find it really hard to part with clothes. Some reasons are legit, and are bound up in the fears and insecurities about what it means to give up something that you used to identify so strongly with. Other reasons are just crazy, because, no — pinstriped fedoras might have had a time and place in our collective histories (Kevin Federline — whaddup), but some things are really, never going to be coming back.
Of course, for those of you for whom some of these items are still integral to your wardrobe, we salute you (after all, there's nothing more stylish than a woman who loves, and owns, her own style). But for the rest of you, we're about to make things really, really. We ID'd 14 items that almost all of us probably own, but most haven't worn in ages, and will not want to wear again — donate these space wasters, reclaim your closet, and rest happy knowing that you couldn't accidentally dress like an extra on Crossroads, even if you tried.
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Photo: Courtesy of With Chic.
Oh No! I'm Being Whisked Away To The Clurb Dresses
You are not going on a surprise trip to Vegas anytime soon. And if you are, please do not wear this dress. It's not about showing too much skin, or showing off your body. It's that these dresses are over. Kim Kardashian stopped wearing them, it's time you did too.
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Photo: Courtesy of Guess.
Denim Leggings
To clarify, we are not talking about jeggings, which have gotten more jeans-like in look and leggings-like in feel over recent years. No — we're talking about those stretchy, elastic-waisted, pocketless monstrosities that have all the worst parts of jeans and leggings, in one unflattering garment.
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Photo: Courtesy of Wet Seat.
The Ultra Low-Waist
There was a time in history when sitting down was instinctually predicated by tugging your pants up to make sure your crack (or whale tail) was showing. It took you 10 years to unlearn that habit. Do not fall down that path again.
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Photo: Courtesy of Sears.
"Interview" Pants
Someone convinced you that you needed to have a "business professional" look before interviewing for your first jobs, and you spent too much money on a pair of pants that made you look like a distant relative of Gumby. It's time to let those go.
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Photo: Courtesy of Overstock.
Stingy-Brim Fedoras
Classic fedoras will always be in style. But these — with the wimpy brim, the faux-professional chalk-striping, and (God forbid) contrast-color band — is something only Kevin Federline's mother would love.
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Photo: Courtesy of shoescadex
Counterfeit Handbags
Not only are you not fooling anyone, you're also contributing to a whole industry of crime, human trafficking, and child labor.
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Photo: Courtesy of Macy's.
Frump Pumps
With the round toe, tapered heel, and hidden platform, these pumps were supposed to be the engineered-for-excellence version of the basic single-sole heel. Except, no.
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Photo: courtesy of gypsy05.
Sweats You Don't Feel Cute In
With all the fantastic loungewear, athleisure, and flattering fleece garments out there, it's easier than ever to really love how you look in sweats. If your pants make you want to hide behind the door when you retrieve your Seamless order, it's time to get rid of them.
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Photo: Courtesy of Steve Madden.
Peep-Toe Cork Wedges
No.
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Photo: Courtesy of Sears.
Tiered Prairie Skirts
Traditionally worn with platform flip-flops, a belly-button ring, and bleached highlights, tiered prairie skirts were about as boho as boxed wine.
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Photo: Courtesy of Aeropostale.
Stretchy, Shrunken Jean Jackets
With all the wonderful, good-looking, high-quality, made-to-last jean jackets you can buy in thrift stores for pennies, there's no reason to ever own a cheap jean jacket that'll stretch out and rip before the season's over. That said, there's also no reason to keep your stretched-out, ripped jean you destroyed years ago.
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Photo: Courtesy of Zappos.
Limp Infinity Scarves
There are so many interesting ways to wrap an infinity scarf around your neck, so skip out on the lazy, pre-made versions. A normal scarf has much more surface area that'll actually keep you warm.
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Photo: Courtesy of Ebay.
Touristy Logo Gear
We all have a random drawer stockpiled with hoodies and tees boldly displaying city names in bizarre, often neon, colors. Fortunately, there are so many better items to take home as a trinket or souvenir from a memorable trip. Unless you're schlepping it around the house, we highly doubt any of these are a part of your daily wardrobe.
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All The Tote Bags
The one from that conference your best friend dragged you to. The one from your cousin's wedding. The one you bought when your purse bottomed out that one time. Get rid of 'em, get rid of all of them (except for maybe one good one).
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Those Cheap Thong Sandals That Hurt
You really don't need those in-between-toes blisters anymore.
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Bikinis From Your Past Life
They're faded, pilled, stretched out and stained. You know the ones. Buh-bye.
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Fringe Handbags
We can't say we'll miss these creatures.
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Stretched-Out Leggings
You know they're not doing anything for your backside.