I Tried All The Things The Internet Hates That People Do To Pizza

Photographed by Alexandra Gavillet.
Pizza makes people feel things. Something about that intoxicating combination of cheese, sauce, crust, and toppings elicits a kind of devotion that surpasses how we normally feel about our foodstuffs. It's much closer to how we feel about pets, babies, or three-day-weekends. They are all precious, and must be protected at all costs.
That is the only reason we can imagine why the internet has so recently been up in arms about perceived crimes committed against pizza, from topping it with pineapple to carrying it the wrong way. Apparently, nothing brings strangers together (or rips them apart) quite like pizza preferences.
But how bad can these sins possibly be? I set out with a pie of my very own to find out. From marshmallows to milk, I tried them all. (Well, except for peas and mayo, because there has to be a line drawn somewhere.)
Ahead, the good, the bad, and the ugly when the Internet's least-favorite pizza trends are put to the test. Images may be disturbing to some (who believe pineapple belongs nowhere near Italian food).