Samantha Bee was back on TV Wednesday night with yet another takedown of the Trump administration's drama.
During Full Frontal with Samantha Bee's recurring segment Our Weekly Constitutional Crisis: What the Fuck Is It This Time?, the comedian tackled one of the major events that's dominated the news cycle for the last couple of days.
"As of yesterday afternoon, the only FBI drama most Americans expected to unfold on TV was the upcoming seasons of Twin Peaks and The X Files. But at 6:00 p.m., with our show written and our staff on its second whiskey, our dumb democracy ran into a wall with a bucket on its head again," Bee said at the start of her monologue.
The new crisis? President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey out of the blue. (It was so unexpected that reporters spent all night calling it a "bombshell" report that "shook" Washington, D.C., along with other earthquake-related metaphors to drive the point home.)
Bee decided to examine the bizarre events that happened as a consequence of the "slow-motion clusterfuck of impulsiveness and ineptitude that this White House is famous for."
She started off by saying, "Trump had his bodyguard take a dismissal letter, complete with a totally normal digression on how the president didn't collude with Russia, okay?! And hand-delivered straight to FBI headquarters."
But Comey wasn't there, so he ended up finding out he was fired when he saw it on TV. Talk about a savage way to learn you just got canned. Afterwards, Comey got in an SUV and TV crews slowly followed his entire motorcade in what Bee described as "a weird echo to the O.J. chase, except not really, because the president would have never fired his good friend The Juice."
Then she pointed out at how press secretary Sean Spicer "managed the narrative" by literally hiding among bushes to avoid questions from reporters. Classy. And because that's the way cable news rolls, we were stuck with reporters and pundits talking only about the firing all night.
But the Richard Nixon Library wasn't happy with the comparison. So, it dropped the mother of all subtweets on its official Twitter account.
"By 7:30, and I am not making this up, the staff of Nixon’s official library were trying to wash the Donald Trump taint off Richard Nixon with the hashtag #notnixonian,” Bee said, before adding sarcastically, "Which is fair. At least Nixon wasn’t at war with late-night comedy."
The comedian also showed a clip of Russian President Vladimir Putin's answer when asked about Comey's firing. Sporting a hockey jersey, Putin said Trump was "acting in accordance with his competence."
After news broke that Comey had been fired, reports came out saying White House officials were shocked by the negative reaction it caused among both Democrats and Republicans. But Bee had no tolerance for the Trump administration's confusion. Like, guys, it's pretty obvious why the firing made everyone freak out.
"Newsflash! Most of us love our democratic norms more than we hate the other team, President Dingdong," she continued. "This isn’t partisan. I don’t like James Comey, nobody does! You either think he lost Hillary the election or you think he’s the reason she’s not locked up. Comey’s a bit of a turd. But at least he’s an independent turd."
On Tuesday night, political pundits insisted that the president of the United States firing the man leading an investigation into possible connections between said president's campaign and a foreign country who intervened in the U.S. political process is not normal.
But Bee has other ideas. "This has become normal," she said. "This president has wiped his ass with the Constitution so many times the National Archives started leaving passive-aggressive notes asking him to chip in for toilet paper."
She continued, "When POTUS shot off an insulting infantile tweet during Hannity’s show, as usual, we were just relieved it wasn’t a whole tweetstorm. Just one tweet? Gosh, that’s practically presidential. That’s where we are. The president is meeting with a war criminal, Putin is playing space hockey, and the press secretary is hiding in some shrubbery. Did I miss anything?"
This happened on Trump's 110th day as president. Everyone, we might have to hide in the bushes with Spicer and Bee for a while.