Ranking The Riverdale Dads, From Worst To Best

Photo: Courtesy of The CW.
Riverdale might have been compared to Pretty Little Liars before it premiered, but the truth is, the shows have almost nothing in common. Yes, they're both about small-town murders and high school students, but the similarities end there.
You see, the Riverdale students actually want to cooperate with the police, not to hide things from them. And, refreshingly, Riverdale didn't portray its student-teacher pairing in a positive light. But the biggest difference between the two shows is in how they handle the high schoolers' relationships with their parents.
Riverdale's parents are far more doting than anyone on PLL — at least, on the surface. Sneak out or act shady, and you'll be caught, and punished. And these parents are actually speaking with their children, in believable(ish) conversations. (Although, I can't say I'd be as mature as Archie (K.J. Apa) if my still-married dad wanted amy "blessing" to date someone who wasn't his wife.)
Still, as virtuous as the kids are about wanting to solve Jason Blossom's murder, all of the Riverdale parents have a lot of secrets. Hermione Lodge (Marisol Nichols) is a particular enigma, and Alice Cooper (Mädchen Amick) is straight-up evil. At least the two of them purport to care about their children, though, which is more than can be said of most of the show's father figures. I get that not everyone can be Danny Tanner, but these dads do not seem to have their kids' best interests at heart.
After seeing more from the characters' fathers in last night's episode, we decided to rank the Riverdale dads from worst to best.