All The Ridiculous Things We Learned From The Baywatch Trailer

Baywatch is back, whether we want it or not. The '90s TV series that gave us David Hasselhoff, Pamela Anderson, and a slew of iconic red bathing suits is going to be a movie starring America's favorite baes, Zac Efron and Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson — just in time for your summer '17 viewing pleasure.

Whether you're firmly in the camp that the OG Baywatch was a sexist excuse to keep women running in slow motion wearing skimpy swimwear, or that it was all in good, campy fun, you'll definitely want to check out the trailer for the remake. The new clip is the first in-depth look at what will be washing up on the shores of Emerald Bay Beach when the movie is released.

Sure, the flick is likely to be absolutely ridiculous. But after a long, wearisome year, don't we all deserve the beauty of Zac Efron's abs? Dwayne Johnson's pre-presidential smile? Sit back, relax, and revel in all the over-the-top moments from the new Baywatch teaser.
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There's a lot packed into two minutes. We begin with The Rock jumping into a fiery ocean to rescue a lovely lady friend who's unfortunately trapped on an equally fiery boat. Defying all the odds (and the fact that a normal human would definitely get third-degree burns from this), he swiftly brings her to safety. Her immediate response?

"If you want me, you can have me." His response? "Some other time." Okay, then.

But the real drama unfolds when he finds out his lifeguard team is losing funding, and they hire Zac Efron's character, a buff, spray-tanned PR genius with an affinity for Sun-In highlights. When he's actually wearing a shirt, it's very tight, and he also enjoys high socks and sneakers.

He's described as "reckless," and to prove that, he jumps off a moving motorcycle into the water...why? Good question. Maybe because that's what reckless people do when they find themselves around bodies of water?

And then...we have a dead body in the water! Do they investigate? Do they ignore it? The Rock's balls are telling him to look into it. He's got crystal balls, apparently.

There are also bikinis, pink mopeds, a burning helicopter crash, and a bit of Zefron 'tude. All set to the sounds of "Hypnotize" by The Notorious B.I.G. You're welcome.

Baywatch
will be in theaters on May 19, 2017.
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