15 Sex Positions That Will Bring You Lots Of Holiday Cheer

This time of year, if it isn’t holiday-themed, you’re not interested. Latté? Pumpkin spice or peppermint, please. Earrings? Jingle bells or bust. Your laptop? So covered in fake snow, the keys have all jammed. Oh well! That’s called holiday cheer, mofos.

Don’t let your obsession with all things winter wonderland stop in the bedroom. Commit to your fa-la-la-la-lifestyle by adapting your favorite sex moves for the most magical time of the year. We guarantee* your partner will be into it.

So strip down to your long johns and get those snow boots a knockin’ — because these sex positions are sure to light a fire in your hearth.

*We do not.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Turkey Baster

Mmm, what’s that smell? Is it a turkey crackling in the oven or the scent of your partner’s raging pheromones? This position is for those times when you’re at a holiday get-together and just can’t keep your wings off each other. Take your friend up on their offer to “get a perch” and sneak off to the host’s bedroom for some much-needed alone time. You’ll love the way this move combines athleticism and beak-to-beak action. Perfect for when you can’t decide whether you want to get stuffed or gobbled!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Dreidel

This one is only for advanced holiday-sex havers. Lower yourself onto your partner’s lap, facing away from them; then, have them spin you around to face them. The only thing luckier than landing on gimel is landing on a hot makeout session. You’ll feel like someone made you out of clay!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Mall Santa

Sitting on a lap has never felt so good! Bring a whole new meaning to your childhood mall memories by whispering all the things you want for Christmas into your partner’s ear or by being too shy to say anything. Both work, so do you! Don’t forget to build tension by waiting in a long line beforehand and memorialize the experience with a photo in which you’re crying. Magical!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
Fallen Crèche Figurines

Uh-oh! The dog ran into the table leg and one of the wise men fell on top of one of the shepherds. Sexy! Imitate the small painted wooden men by keeping extra stiff and challenging your partner to do the same. Trust: You’ll be seeing stars of Bethlehem in no time.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Menorah

Imagine you and your partner are two candles in a beautiful menorah. Close, but not touching, until you’re lit and your flames become one. This move is so hot, we wouldn’t be surprised if you lasted eight times longer than you thought was possible. And, if you’re inclined to invite six other “candles”? Well, just make sure there’s enough gelt to go around.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Tree Stand

Use that magical time between when you get the tree home and when you put it up to engage in some holiday nookie. Once you drag the tree stand up from the basement and remember what it is and how it works, use it to prop your leg up during standing sex. Might as well establish some positive associations before you start army-crawling under there every day to water the damn thing. You knew the bluish ones were pokier; why do you do this to yourself?!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The Grinch

Have your partner stand, then do your best Grinch impression, slithering around on the floor before bringing your face parallel to their crotch. Grinchy may have pretended to be Santa Claus in order to steal presents from children, but your partner won’t have to fake anything. Up the ante with a sexy Cindy Lou Who costume, and the Grinch’s heart won’t be the only thing to grow three sizes.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The One-Horse Open Sleigh

What’s more romantic than a sleigh ride through Central Park? A sleigh ride through your sheets. To get in the mood, give your partner a sensual massage with one of those horse-brush things or tie a few jingle bells to their neck. Giddy-up! (Note: It doesn’t have to be a one-horse sleigh — two-horse or three-horse works, too.)
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The S.A.D.-Buster

On the shortest day of the year, go for this position that’s perfect for quickies. Choose a room with a skylight for optimal vitamin D absorption — hey, ain’t nothin’ wrong with multitasking! Knock Seasonal Affective Disorder down a peg while satisfying your…other needs. Happy Solstice!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
Jesus in the Manger

Whether or not you and your partner were born of virgins inseminated by the love of God, you’ll love the feeling of closeness having sex in a manger brings. The slanted walls are perfect for snuggling, and the hay has kind of a nice smell if you can get over how sharp it is. For the full effect, tell your partner you bought new lingerie, then wrap yourself in swaddling clothes! The surprise will blow their mind.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
Playful Polar Bears

You know those cute videos of polar bears where they fall backward onto their butts and then look around all surprised? Ask your partner to do that, then crawl toward them on your paws and knees and settle into their lap, facing them. What a great way to honor the mighty polar bear!
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella

Take your love of 16th-century French provincial carols into the bedroom with this athletic position. One partner holds the other (the “torch”) aloft while the “torch” wraps their arms and legs around the holder. Don’t be surprised if this move lights the way to multiple orgasms. You’ll want to “tell the folks of the village” (or just your brunch crew!) all about your new favorite position.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The “Everyone Else Is Playing Football”

You’ve just eaten more than you’ve ever eaten in your life, and suddenly your whole family is going outside to “play football”? What is happening? Don’t let that herd of barbarians stop you from living your best life. Grab bae by the hand when they try to follow everyone outside, pull them to the couch, and whisper, “Touchdown…there.”
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
The A-dom-inable Snowman

From-behind positions are perfect when you want a little dom-sub action. And while we won’t make any assumptions about whether the Snowman himself is a top or a bottom, we will encourage you to try either or both if you want. It’s as easy as putting one foot in front of the other. Feeling extra frisky? Wear a red nose.
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Illustrated by: Paola Delucca.
Nesting Cornucopias

You know when you catch a glimpse of two cornucopias curled around each other and are inexplicably turned on? Channel the conical baskets’ intimacy in your own life with a position that’s both steamy and thematic. For a kinky twist, hold an unpeeled navel orange in your mouth and coyly tell your partner they can’t kiss you unless they eat it whole.
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