Apple Music is truly a dark god. The streaming service has in the past featured Taylor Swift eating it on a treadmill while singing a Drake song and, humiliatingly, enjoying Jimmy Eat World on television. Now, the streaming service will afford Swift a measure of restitution.
That's in the form of Drake lip-synching to "Bad Blood" before dropping a barbell on his chest.
First, let us say that Drake is indeed the type of dude who would wait for someone to leave the room before putting on Taylor Swift. Second, let us continue that Drake is also the type of dude that would put on Taylor Swift before he knew a young woman was coming over, then feigning embarrassment that she had "caught" him listening to Taylor Swift.
"Oh," he would sheepishly say, "I guess I'm just really into her sensitivity. I'm a male feminist."
Whatever.
Swift and Drake have been the subject of perhaps the most absurd dating rumor since Donald Trump posed as his own publicist and hilariously claimed he would treat his second wife, Marla Maples, well.