The Difference Between Watching Harry Potter As A Kid & As An Adult

Photo: Photofest.

In today's news to remind you that you're old, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone came out 15 years ago. A lot has changed for the film's stars since the first HP film hit theaters. Daniel Radcliffe has become a Broadway regular. Tom Felton is appearing in an American superhero series. And Emma Watson is playing a bookish rebel falling for a questionable guy (well, I guess not everything has changed).
If you've re-watched the 2001 film recently, you probably noticed that while the magical tale still holds up, it seems like a very different movie than the one you enjoyed as a kid. Suddenly you're less enthralled by the adventure of three young wizards and more concerned that no one seems to be watching the kids. Harry Potter marathons are still a fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon, but Harry's escapades just raise a lot more questions when you're watching them in the apartment you pay rent for.
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Click through to see how the takeaways you get from the story of the Boy Who Lived changes when you watch it through adult eyes.
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Troll in the Dungeon Scene — As A Kid

Regular Jack O' Lanterns are ruined forever because they're not as cool as floating ones.

This seems like the correct reaction to a troll showing up at your school.

There is an unlimited supply of candy and limited adult supervision— who are they kidding with that giant pile of apples?
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Troll In The Dungeon Scene — As An Adult

Okay, so Harry Potter entered Hogwarts in the early '90s, at the height of troll dolls popularity. Wouldn't he be confused by his classmates' terror over the unnerving, yet harmless fluffy-haired creature?

Man, these kids have no faith in their teachers. I mean, if there was a lion loose inside my elementary school, I'd panic too. Unless every teacher in the school was in the room with us, and they could all do magic.

There is an unlimited supply of candy and limited adult supervision— who are they kidding with that giant pile of apples?
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Getting the Letter — As A Kid

His room is basically a hiding place. So why is he taking his mysterious mail to where the bullies are?

This is obviously a superior way to receive mail and should be how I get all my American Girl magazines.
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Getting the Letter — As An Adult

There is absolutely no way the neighbors would have let Number 4 Privet Drive stage a reenactment of The Birds for a week without calling animal control.

What was the family's game plan for Harry's next growth spurt? Was he going to have to become a preteen contortionist to fit in his "room?"

Uncle Vernon is totally the kind of person who keeps trying to squeeze toothpaste out of what is clearly an empty tube.
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"You're A Wizard Harry" — As A Kid

There is more exposition in the book! Movies must follow books to the letter!

Gross, I would not be interested in a cake a stranger sat on.
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"You're A Wizard Harry" — As An Adult

I feel like Harry doesn't have enough questions (or, like, any questions) about what wizards are or why he didn't know they were real before he insists he's not one. Keep your options open, buddy.

I have definitely eaten pastries in far worse condition.
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"Happy Christmas, Harry"— As A Kid

Happy Christmas sounds ridiculous. It's Merry Christmas.
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"Happy Christmas, Harry"— As An Adult

Crying forever over tiny Harry's surprise and joy that he has presents.

There are holiday traditions around the world that may differ from what you're used to, and should be celebrated and respected, but yeah, "Happy Christmas" still sounds ridiculous. It's "Merry Christmas."
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Gryffindor Wins — As A Kid

Perfect ending with the proper winner. Harry is obviously better, Harry's team wins, this makes complete sense.

Do dunce caps not exist in the wizarding world, or are the uniform makers for Hogwarts just really mean?
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Gryffindor Wins — As An Adult

So, I guess there aren't any helicopter parents at Hogwarts? Because if this happened at a non-muggle school the PTA parents would be all over this. I'm pretty sure even the Gryffindor parents would be like, "Dumbledore, man, we're behind you, but this was some super shady shit."

I see that look Dumbledore. We all know you have an issue with power, but you are really enjoying having the completely uncontested last word, aren't you.
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Quidditch — As A Kid

I didn't think anything could be scarier than kickball, but this is scarier than kickball. Shouldn't they all be wearing magical helmets?
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Quidditch — As An Adult

I am ready to accept many things about the wizarding world at face value, like the fact that they put a bunch of children up in the air but didn't have the foresight to turn the ground into jello or something. But having sixth graders competing against seniors in high school in a contact sport is insane, magic or not. "What's the point of anything if the Snitch is worth 100 points," the average HP fan might argue. That is not the issue here. The issue is 11-year-old Harry Potter getting body checked by someone old enough to vote.
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Harry's First Flying Lesson — As A Kid

Learning to make a Power Point presentation seems so much less intimidating now.

Poor Ron.
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Harry's First Flying Lesson — As An Adult

How does the magical person in charge of flying 11-year-olds not have an instant "stop moving right the hell now" spell? And why isn't the ground not Jello? I'm starting to think at least 25% of Hogwarts problems could be solved if the ground was Jello.
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Meeting Fluffy —As A Kid

If the three of them can close the door on a giant three-headed dog, they're stronger than any sixth grader I've ever met.
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Meeting Fluffy — As An Adult

They are so tiny, why don't they have better adult supervision?! A professor should definitely be stationed in the dorms of children who could stumble upon multiple deadly creatures on the way to the bathroom.
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Sorting Hat — As A Kid

If Hermione was really the cleverest witch she'd know you keep your stress monolog to yourself when you're with your classmates.
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Sorting Hat — As An Adult

Magical or not, putting the same hat on 20 sixth graders is how you get a lice epidemic.
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Potions Class — As A Kid

Do all the other teachers know Snape thinks almost all of the subjects they teach are silly? I feel like McGonagall would be mad.
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Potion Class — As An Adult

You should really not teach preteens how to brew fame or put a stopper on death. I assume he means when they're older, in which case that's still a pretty bizarre intro to your subject. Like a sixth grade English teacher swooping in like, "I can teach you how to dissect Tolstoy, critique Dostoevsky, and write the American novel. But this year, we're going to be working on grammar."
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Dumbledore's Monolog — As A Kid

Why do they keep eating these beans?!
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Dumbledore's Monologue — As An Adult

Seriously though, why?
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Mirror of Erised — As A Kid

Dumbledore is the chillest principal ever.
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Mirror of Erised — As An Adult

The Mirror of Erised is real, and it comes in the form of Instagram filters.
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The Troll Battle — As A Kid

Hermione is calm enough to walk Ron through the swish and flick, but completely loses it when she has to do the spell herself?

Considering the rate at which average sixth graders lose or forget their pencils, maybe they should have a spare wand they always keep in their back pocket?
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The Troll Battle — As An Adult

These kids are both incredibly resourceful and way too sure of the protective powers of your average public bathroom.
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Diagon Alley — As A Kid

Best back to school shopping trip ever.
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Diagon Alley — As An Adult

Maybe I've just been to more malls since I was 11, but I'm just not impressed by the extras from A Christmas Carol pawing through totally not magical flower arrangements.
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Platform 9 3/4—As A Kid

How could Hagrid leave him to figure out how to go through a wall on his own?!? He's the worst chaperone ever.
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Platform 9 3/4 — As An Adult

The muggles not noticing this thing would be totally believable if it had taken place after smartphones took off.
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