I'm Not Buying The New iPhone Unless It Does These 7 Things

A new iPhone is coming — and it's coming pretty darn quickly. We've been hearing rumors and reports about all the wonderful new features it may include. In June, we even got a sneak peek at its biggest new software features. But until the phone is actually announced, what it looks like — and which features will make it to the final version — are still a mystery.

So, as long as it remains unknown, I can still dream about what I want in the next iPhone. In recent years, a lot of people have criticized Apple for not thinking big enough, making only small iterations and updates to its iconic cell phone. One of those complaints is aesthetic — many consumers only want to buy a new iPhone if it looks noticeably different from the last.

I've got a different set of must-haves for my next handset. Here are seven of them.
1 of 8
It Needs To Be Waterproof
I am a clumsy person. I also work out a lot. So basically, my phone is in constant threat of having a beer spilled on it, or having sweat dripped onto it. I need a waterproof phone. A few years ago, I was SOL, but now, there are several Android handsets, including the Samsung Galaxy S7 and the Sony Xperia X, that are water-resistant. If the next iPhone can't make a dive into the pool with me, it'll have to dive on out of my pocket altogether.
2 of 8
It Can't Be Any Thinner
If the iPhone gets much thinner, it's going to become hazardous to our health. We will — almost literally — be carrying tiny, handleless butcher knives in our pockets. It'll be horrible! But perhaps more importantly… I've already got a case that I really like, and I wouldn't mind if my new phone could still fit inside of it.
3 of 8
Shatterproof Glass
Scratch that, remember back when we could use our phones without protecting them in a precious case? I want that again. But to feel confident going caseless, that display needs to be covered in some aeronautics-grade glass. Gorilla Glass 5 is probably the strongest thing Apple could use on its phone. Hopefully it's strong enough to withstand my mimosa-slackened grasp during brunch.

4 of 8
Multi-Day Battery Life
Speaking of "remembering when," remember when you weren't constantly scrambling to charge your phone each day and night? If you use the larger, iPhone 6s Plus judiciously, you can get some great battery life — but I would love for that to extend to the "smaller" iPhone models, as well. How great would it be to go a full weekend without worrying about plugging in my phone? It feels luxurious just thinking about it.
5 of 8
An Intuitive Search Button In The App Store
Every other app on the face of the planet puts its search button at the top of the app (okay, maybe not Instagram, but a whole bunch of others). I do not need, and will never use, a Wish List for apps — I will either download them once I hear about them (or after I search for them), or I will not. Whether the Wish List component stays or goes, I'm ambivalent, but the search button needs to go into that upper right-hand corner, stat.
6 of 8
A Built-In GIF Maker
Yeah, there are a lot of really good third-party apps for making GIFs nowadays. But it would be even better if I could record a video or Live Photo using the phone's built-in camera and tap a button to automatically make it into a sharable GIF. At least iOS 10 promises to make it easier to find GIFs for texting — but GIF-making too, that would be great.
7 of 8
Autocorrect That Doesn't Suck
The most offensive thing my phone can do is to autocorrect something that I would never, ever say. Do you even know me? I ask my phone, insulted and incredulous. While the whole idea of listening in and learning from what I type is a little bit creepy, I'll take the trade-off: for my phone to know that I mean facepalm and not faceplate — that's just important to me.
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A Panini Maker
Just kidding. But I feel like the iPhone could totally have a "toaster mode" so I could heat up a slice of bread on its back. Avocado toast on-demand, heck yeah.