The Secret Single-Person Behaviors No One Talks About

In today's modern world, I think we're all a little burned out. Between the ever-increasing demands of the workplace, the incessant digital pings from emails and social media, friends, and family time, getting our QT (quiet time) is more important than ever. That's where SSB (Secret Single Behavior) comes in.

Originally coined in Sex and the City, SSB is an activity that one engages in only when alone (see: Carrie's love for eating stacks of saltine crackers with jelly while reading fashion magazines). To be clear, it's not a solo activity because we're ashamed of what we're doing. It's just that SSB is the golden standard of alone time — it feels better and more restorative when we indulge in it solo. I mean, ordering in Thai food is not that crazy in and of itself, right? But eating Thai in your old sweats while watching six hours of Gilmore Girls reruns? That's just something one's got to do alone. And often.

Because so many people's SSB involves some kind of snack, we asked everyone at R29 to share their me-time routines with us. Ahead, find a few of our favorites. Click through to see if you can relate to any of these, and let us know your SSB in the comments!
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1 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"I LOVE to come home from a super-hard gym workout, sweaty and smelly as hell, and eat a whole roast chicken right out of the plastic container with my hands and absolutely ZERO decorum, while watching Shark Tank. It feels great and, for some unknown reason, this little ritual totally rejuvenates me."
2 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"My boyfriend is on a bit of a health kick and loves to cook really great, nutritious dinners for us (God bless him). But every time he leaves town, I book it to the nearest Chipotle and get the biggest chicken burrito I can possibly find — with extra cheese, sour cream, and hot sauce. I take it home and watch the trashiest TV I can find in complete and total bliss — while texting him to say how much I miss him. HA."
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3 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"If I've got a rare evening to myself, chances are you'll find me with an entire box of Annie's Mac & Cheese, which is being eaten straight from the pot (why waste dishes?), while I watch episodes of Downton Abbey or The Office. There are definitely no pants involved, there are never any leftovers, and there is probably (definitely) also wine involved."
4 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"Sometimes when I'm really craving something sweet and no one is watching, I will take a scoop of Ample Hills Creamery Salted Crack Caramel ice cream and sandwich it between two Stroopwafel cookies. It's basically a Chipwich on steroids. Then, I will eat it standing up and leaning over the kitchen counter because it is too messy to eat any other way. You cannot prove that I was stoned when I came up with this."
5 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"One of my favorite things to do is eat cold leftover steak straight out of the fridge with my hands, just like a cavewoman."
6 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"On a day off after a particularly stressful week, I buy two bottles of Vanilla Coke and a whole box of regular Cheez-Its and eat it slowly over the course of an afternoon, usually while playing classic video games on my computer (I'm talking Baldur's Gate, Diablo II, Star Wars: KOTOR...straight nerd shit). It replaces all other food for the day, but it's my perfect comfort food."
7 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"Oh, god. If I'm home alone, I will heat up a can of Old El Paso refried beans, toss some pickled jalapeños on top, and add some of the jalapeño juice from the jar."
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8 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"My SSB is eating almond butter out of the jar with a single chopstick. I've been known to clean out a jar in under a week, and I find that the chopstick slows down the process. SO WEIRD."
9 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"On evenings when my husband is out, I'll pick up a block of Velveeta and make myself queso for uno. I'll sit on the couch with a bag of tortilla chips and eat the whole bowl, while watching some super-girly TV (most recently it's been Parenthood, but I prefer Gilmore Girls) and sipping a beer. It's heaven. The worst part is, I'm always lecturing my husband about eating a healthy meal on the nights he's home alone. Such a hypocrite."
10 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"I'm hardly ever alone anymore (hello, two small kids!), but I pretty much only do this when the kids are in bed and my husband is not likely to come into the kitchen: scoop up hearty spoonfuls of peanut butter, then cover them with generous sprinklings of dark chocolate chips. My husband totally knows about my 'secret' and doesn't care, but it tastes so much better when I do it stealthily."
11 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"I love eating sugary cereal out of the box while taking a bubble bath. I will go to the grocery store specifically for Fruity Pebbles, Oh's, or Honeycombs (the real deal of sugar cereals, you guys) and draw a hot bath with Epsom salt and lavender bubbles. Once the perfect bubbly tub is ready, I get in, with cereal box in hand, and let the snack attack begin."
12 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"About once a month on particularly low days, I'll pick up half a dozen tacos, unbutton my pants before I get to my apartment, and eat all of them sans pants on the kitchen floor. The person I trick into dating me one day will think this is the hottest thing they’ve ever seen."
13 of 13
Illustrated by Mallory Heyer.
"Sometimes, I need a little alone time with the Doritos Nacho Cheese flavor. Won’t touch the stuff in public."
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