Let's be real — traveling can be a shitty experience. Airports aren't fun and the last thing a cranky traveler needs to step in a steaming pile of dog shit.
While comedian Steve Hofstetter didn't step in poop at Los Angeles International airport, he did have a run-in with some. In a Reddit post, he recalled waiting to board a flight when he — and everyone around him — heard a woman talking loud on the phone. She was Facetiming without consideration for those around her — a crime in itself. The guilty party had her back to her dog as it took a poo in the middle of the airport. When confronted about the gift her four-legged friend left behind, the woman seemed unbothered. She told the concerned do-gooder, "they have people for that" as if her dog's poop should be someone else's problem. Travel + Leisure note that LAX does have several dog relief stations, but did not note that any airport employees work doggy duty.
In his detailed account of the poop incident, Hofstetter called the situation embarrassing. While everyone else tried to ignore the dog's owner, he sprung into action. Hofstetter sat down next to her to start a conversation about her destination. After learning where she was heading, Hofstetter got inspired — perhaps more so given her cold responses to his attempts to connect. He told the "horrible woman" her flight to Tokyo was departing from a different part of the airport. Without questioning Hofstetter's claim or checking signage, she ran off in search of the imaginary gate. Did he feel guilty? A little, but revenge is sweet.
"Her missing her flight was not my original intention, but it would be a fine punishment for her being so rude to everyone and making a low-paid stranger clean feces off the floor. What makes me wonder if I went too far is the knowledge that Delta only has one flight to Tokyo each day," Hofstetter wrote. "Whoops."