Please upgrade your browser for the best Refinery29 experience. Read more.

Saved! Access Favorites in your account profile. Removed from my favorites

These Broken New Year's Resolutions Are Hilarious & SO Relatable

  1. Begin
    NYDY_BrokenResolution_Opener
    Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    As we all know, resolutions were made to be broken. Sometimes we choose too ambitious a goal. Sometimes our resolutions are doable, but the very act of committing to them makes us want to rebel. Either way, the cycle continues: We make 'em, then we break 'em.

    This year, we at Refinery29 are happily rejecting the old school notion of binding resolutions. Still, we have to admit that finding out about other people's New Year's resolutions can be fun and interesting — especially when they're broken. So, we reached out to over a thousand readers for their all-time greatest broken resolution stories, and man oh man, did they deliver.

    There were tales of vengeance gone awry, #relationshipgoals that went haywire, and, of course, a whole lot of gym routines thwarted by Netflix. Many of the stories took us by surprise with their poignancy and resonance, and some just made us laugh for a solid five minutes. And we could all use some poignant, resonant, laugh-out-loud stories right about now.

    Enjoy — and if you do make and break a resolution this year, be sure to break it good.


    Resolutions were made to be broken. This year, want to help you do you — the best you can. Check out more right here.



    Begin Slideshow
  2. Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    0 of 30
    }

    "I made a resolution once to watch my language. Not even 72 hours into the new year, I watched it spill right out of my f$@!ng mouth. I swear, I really tried. #MyCommuteSucks."

  3. Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    1 of 30
    }

    "I prefer to think that certain resolutions tend to get derailed for me personally, rather then completely broken. Life is about balance. Resolutions are about changes. Change is very difficult to completely adhere to without a little give and take. The mindset to maintain a lifestyle change can happen ANY time of year. Not just January 1. The motivation to maintain it should be daily. Sometimes those changes take longer than others."

    "For example, several years ago I resolved to leave my stable full-time job at a marketing agency and move to London to pursue my passion for health, fitness, and nutrition. Although that resolution did not help immediately, the steps that followed were progressive (making lists, doing research, and filling out applications for my certification). I am proud to say that although it took two-plus years to fulfill this resolution, which was longer than I intended, I will actually be meeting it this year. I start classes January 4th, 2016!"

  4. Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    2 of 30
    }

    "I promised myself I'd sing out loud every day because it puts me in a good mood. I would usually do it in the car on the way to work. I kept it for a long time, but in July I moved to NYC and stopped driving everyday, so I stopped singing out loud everyday. It really did boost my mood, so I want to find a new way to incorporate it."

  5. Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    3 of 30
    }

    "I resolved to read one piece of classic literature a month this year. I made it halfway through On the Road, got really bored, felt guilty for being bored, and moved on to Little Women. I made it a few pages in and realized the movie is better than the book (what? this never happens), and started reading from the bestseller list again."

  6. Illustrated by Mary Galloway.

    SHARE IT

    comments
    See All Slides
    4 of 30
    }

    "I tend to keep resolutions that are additive: travel more or read one new book a month. I tend to fail when I make resolutions that take something away, less pizza, less champagne. I think it's because adding things like traveling, reading, keeping in touch, it is immediately enriching and has a multiplier effect. Who wouldn't want to live a more enriched life?"