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11 Things You Should Never, Ever Say To Someone

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    Illustrated by Michaela Early.


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    There’s a danger that lurks among us, a presence that no one can escape, a force so dark that it threatens our collective humanity. You think you can run, but it will find you. It’s horrific, it’s relentless — it’s the overly personal question.

    It can happen anywhere: at a friend’s house party, the grocery store, or (shudder) when you’re trapped in the back of an Uber. An acquaintance, a coworker, or your least favorite relative somehow thinks it’s appropriate to ask you extremely personal questions like, “When do you plan on getting married?” “How often do you and your boyfriend have sex?” Or the most bone-chilling question of all: “Will you add me to your LinkedIn network?”

    If you’re lucky, the conversation will be cut short — a true friend comes to the rescue at the party, or your Uber trip comes to a merciful end. If you’re not, you could be trapped in 10, 15, or even 20 minutes of excruciating dialogue — forced to divulge the most intimate details of your life. It’s a moment that can ruin any night, and send you running back home to lock yourself inside and watch reruns of Chopped on Netflix.

    But before you do that, let’s take a moment to reflect on the overly personal question. It’s easy to point the finger at others; what’s harder is pointing the finger at ourselves. As much as we hate to admit it, we’ve all been a little too nosy at some point in our lives (sometimes even with our best friends). I know I have. Which is why I’ve decided to help put a stop to this once and for all. To this end, ahead I’ve compiled a list of 11 things you should never, ever say to someone. Make note.

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  2. Illustrated by Michaela Early.


  3. Illustrated by Michaela Early.


  4. Illustrated by Michaela Early.


  5. Illustrated by Michaela Early.


  6. Illustrated by Michaela Early.