We Wore "Nipple Lipstick" & Things Got Weird

Photographed by Natalia Mantini.
In case #965,304,877 of Man Attempts To Convince Woman To Take Her Top Off, a male physician on The Doctors recently claimed that the best way to find your perfect nude lipstick isn't to study undertones, or download makeup apps, or test out the Sephora Color IQ device in-store — it's to examine your nipples. Are they a dusty rose? A sandy beige? A Mocha Frappuccino? Take the shade, match it to a lipstick, and voilà!
Of course, it's not an exact science or anything — makeup artist Elisa Flowers told us those on either end of the skin-tone spectrum might be washed out by their nipple lipstick — but in the name of hard-hitting journalism, we had to test the theory.
Advertisement
1 of 17
"The first time my freshman year college roommate — who was a natural blond — saw me topless, she looked at my nipples with confusion and said, 'But they aren't pink?!' Nope, they aren't pink, which is unfortunate only because if they were, I'd probably like the matching lipstick shade a whole lot more. The muddy caramel color isn't my taste — and it clashed with my Orgasm blush." — Alix Tunell, senior beauty editor
2 of 17
Marc Jacobs Beauty New Nudes Sheer Gel Lipstick in Dreamgirl, $30, available at Sephora.
3 of 17
"I was very skeptical about this lip color hack and worried that I wouldn't have a color in my collection that worked. Well, I was so wrong, because my go-to lip color turned out to be a dead ringer for my nipples already. Reminder to self: Delete that macro shot of your nipple from your camera roll, ASAP." — Lexy Lebsack, West Coast beauty editor
4 of 17
Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Lip Pencil in naked, $20, available at Nordstrom.
5 of 17
“The day I took this picture, I was on the subway swiping through selfie options that best represented the lipstick and accidentally went too far back — the earlier photo I took of my nipple to shade match it was on full display. I swear, the guy sitting next to me did a double take. But the experiment was well worth the side eye; otherwise, I'd probably never try a reddish-nude lipstick like this. The slightly darker shade made me feel like Posh Spice circa 1996 (minus the stellar cheekbones and sharp bob, of course). ” — Kelsey Castañon, beauty news editor
Advertisement
6 of 17
Catrice Ultimate Stay Lipstick in All Or Nuting, $7.99, available at Ulta.
7 of 17
"Elisa Flowers told us that the trick might not be useful for very fair and very dark skin, and she ended up being right in my case. I pulled Topshop Nude Lip in Culture, a dark brown that seemed like a match in the packaging. However, once I swiped it on, I could barely see it. I hoped I'd get compliments from a friend I was meeting for dinner that night, but he didn't notice my nipple lips. No one did. On the bright side, at least I can use this selfie whenever my next Tinder match asks me to send nudes." — Khalea Underwood, beauty writer
8 of 17
Topshop Nude Lip in Culture, $12, available at Topshop.
9 of 17
"You have to admit, wearing your nipple color on your face for the world to see is a little kinky. So, I decided to have some fun with it and invite my boyfriend to help me color match. We didn’t make it past two swatches without getting... well, distracted. Luckily, we had already found my match by that time — a mix of pinky-browns and purple. Now when I wear it, he asks if I have on the 'nipple' lipstick which is 'so hot.' Suddenly, boring pinky-nude is not so boring anymore." — Cat Quinn, beauty director
10 of 17
Bite Beauty Lip Pencils in 006 and 038, $18 each, available at Sephora.
Advertisement
11 of 17
"Let's start with a little too much information: I have eczema... on my nips. So you can imagine the difficulty I had color-matching, given the stress-aggravated rash that popped up on my breast recently. Still, I found a smooth patch of nip skin, started swatching, and landed on Em Cosmetic's Lip Cloud in French Nude, a tawny nude liquid lipstick that was the closest match.

"When I slicked it on, the shade was less than flattering — I looked a little lifeless. But I was excited by the idea of wearing nipple-toned lipstick, so when I got home, the first thing I screamed to my boyfriend was, 'I'm wearing nip lips!' Spoiler alert: He didn't care.

"I'll be sticking to the bolds and brights I normally love, but one thing I did take away from all of this is that whipping your nip out in order to match lipstick is really freaking fun." — Mi-Anne Chan, beauty writer
12 of 17
Em Cosmetics Infinite Lip Cloud in French Nude, $16, available at Em Cosmetics.
13 of 17
"I was shocked — shocked! — to hear that someone was recommending that women match their nipples to their lipstick, even more so when I learned that this someone was a middle-aged male “emergency medicine physician.” But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t curious to see if there was any truth to the hot tip. This one ended up being my best match, and while I do think it’s reasonably flattering, it is by no means my “perfect” lipstick. Perhaps I’ve just been unfairly influenced by the fact that it’s a) named Cat Lady and b) described as a soft mauve shade, because who the fuck wants to be a cat lady with mauve nipples? Not me." — Rachel Krause, beauty writer
14 of 17
Lorac Alter Ego Satin Lipstick in Cat Lady, $18, available at Lorac Cosmetics.
15 of 17
"Conversations around nipple-piercing, nipple-flicking, or nipple foreplay are my personal version of nails scraping against a chalkboard. So the thought of having to match my lipstick shade to my nipples weirded me out for reasons I can't even really explain. On top of that, my nipples aren't meant to be color-matched, apparently, so I had to blend two creamy lipsticks together to get close to their hue, which is like a muddy, faded, brick-red. Or just brown. It depends on the weather.

"While the lip color isn't my cup of tea, the color was flattering to my skin tone — even with a fake tan. Typically, I'd want something a little more bold and fun, but for an everyday look, this was fine." — Samantha Sasso, beauty editorial assistant
16 of 17
Estée Lauder Pure Color Love Lipsticks in Raw Sugar and Strapless, $22 each, available at Estée Lauder.
17 of 17
Like this post? There's more. Get tons of beauty tips, tutorials, and news on the Refinery29 Beauty Facebook page. Like us on Facebook — we'll see you there!
Advertisement