Scandal Might Be The Greatest Love Tragedy Of All Time

Photo: Eric McCandless/ABC.
Scandal is back. And by that I mean that my strange desire to never watch the show again has lifted. Last night’s episode was the espionage thriller that I’ve been missing for over a year. Olivia’s slightly fanatical sense of patriotism has her on a mission to kill her father, but Huck must convince her that Rowan isn’t that bad and had completely valid reasons for assassinating the president-elect. No big deal. Running parallel to this story is the show’s commitment to welcoming spring by spritzing some love into the Scandal air, even if it is extremely misleading.
Charlie and Quinn are inseparable, even as they bicker. Huck has once again fallen for an unsuspecting angel of a brunette, whose helplessness has drawn him in. Rowan is very much upset about the loss of his rekindled grad school fling with Sandra, even if he did shoot her in the head last week. But Scandal is no fan of the love story and there hasn’t been a single coupling on the show that is sane, healthy, or even safe. Scandal could put Romeo & Juliet to shame in terms of making love suck.
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In addition to Rowan killing his love interest, Charlie and Quinn have also tried to take each other out in past episodes. Not even the affable David Rosen has been able to escape the burn of a deceitful lover thanks to Elizabeth North. Cyrus Beene nearly had his ex-husband killed before James was actually murdered; and Beene's current man was paid to marry him. Jake seems to despise the wife who was arranged for him. Fitz and Mellie are divorced for obvious reasons (hi, Olivia), and Abby is too power hungry to love anyone right now. Not even Olivia’s love for her father is admirable. She’s willing to kill him at the slightest provocation, and still feels conflicted about his true intentions. As a result, Rowan’s love for Olivia — his daughter truly is the only person he actually cares for — is in vain, which is kind of karma for his being a generally horrible person.
And then there is Huck — a troubled soul, but likely the only one who is fully committed to connecting with another person and being a better human being. His quest for love has been led to nothing but disappointment, despair, and death. His ex-wife Kim thinks he’s a lunatic and avoids him at all costs, not even allowing him to see his son. His ex-girlfriend Becky killed Huck’s fake family and then tried to kill the president. And when he and Quinn tried to date, he ended up pulling out a couple of her teeth with a pair of pliers.
Scandal will not make you believe in the power of love. In fact, it will have you side-eying the person you go to bed with in the first 15 minutes. So don’t be fooled by the lusty sex scenes. It’s a trap. On Scandal, love is the greatest tragedy.