If You Want To Marry Rachel Lindsay, Don't Call Her "Sloppy Seconds"

Photo: Randy Holmes/ABC.
From what we've seen about the upcoming season of The Bachelorette, the show is going to be riddled with discomfort. First, there was the contestant who cracked a joke about "going Black" on After the Finale Rose. And Wednesday, yet another contestant made a cringe-worthy statement: He called Bachelorette Rachel Lindsay "sloppy seconds." Oof.
The icky comment came about on The Ellen Degeneres Show, where Lindsay enjoyed one of the show's customary group dates. (Presumably, we'll see the full version of this date come May, when the show airs.) First, Lindsay revealed in an interview with DeGeneres that she'd already kissed someone on the show.
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"So have you kissed anybody yet?" the host questioned.
“I have,” Lindsay, 31, admitted. “He initiated. It was completely unexpected. I know this sounds cliché, but it totally swept me off my feet. It was good!” The Texas native was practically glowing.
Then, the fellows made their entrance. A brief introduction: There's Fred from Dallas, Alex who is bilingual, Jonathan from Florida, Brian from Florida, Willie G. from Florida by way of New York City, and Peter from Wisconsin.
"Does anybody have any reaction to learning that she’s kissed someone already?" DeGeneres asked the beaus. Brian from Florida piped in: "She's a great kisser." Then Willie G. from Miami by way of New York City added, "I second that." So, there are two guys who have locked lips with Rachel Lindsay so far. This shouldn't be surprising — that's what happens in this show. Lindsay is going to kiss at least 20 different guys in the space of a few short months.
But then Brian had to go make it weird by saying this: "He got my sloppy seconds." Brian was referring to Willie G., who presumably kissed Lindsay after Brian's initial smooch.
Now, this is the type of guy-on-guy interaction that's typically encouraged on the series. These men are competing for the same woman, which begets plenty of posturing and pseudo-aggression between contestants. Brian's statement wasn't an effort to woo Lindsay; it was an effort to establish dominance over Willie G. This interaction would have been all in good fun were it not for that "sloppy seconds" comment.
The term has a pretty nasty etymology. It refers to sexual intercourse with one partner directly after sexual intercourse with another partner — the indication is that the receiving partner is still "sloppy" from the previous interaction. Ick factor aside, it's one of many derogatory slang words that make the woman an object. "Sloppy seconds" is a way of saying, "I already marked that territory," which by extension makes the woman a territory or possession. Brian's use of the term is more innocent, but the implications remain. He kissed Lindsay first, therefore she is his property.
Unfortunately for Brian, this logic is void in the Bachelorette 'verse. In this realm, Lindsay reigns supreme. She hands out the roses, she wears the pants (or the sequined dresses or what have you), and she makes all the decisions. So, Brian, to call her "sloppy seconds" was probably a mistake. Pro tip: If you want to get far in this show, avoid making sexually lewd comments about ownership over the Bachelorette.
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