Alleged Swift Grope DJ: "I've Never Been Inappropriate With A Woman"

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The details of Taylor Swift's sexual assault lawsuit against former radio DJ David Mueller are as sickening as they are familiar to some women. A man allegedly touching inappropriately, a woman smiling through it, the whole thing. But Swift has been able to leverage her star power into a measure of action against her alleged groper. Of course, ex-DJ Mueller is loath to let that pass.

Mueller has been relatively silent publicly, except during the high profile fight to get this photo entered into court records. But that changed during a Tuesday appearance on Detroit's "Mojo in the Morning" radio show, first reported on by TMZ.

"I've never had my day in court," Mueller said during his appearance. "I've never been inappropriate with a woman in my life. I want my reputation back."

His version of events seems to admit a possible butt touch, but precludes a butt grab.

"I was looking at the photographer and I tried to get my right hand, you know, behind Taylor, because [Mueller's girlfriend] Shannon [Melcher] was on the other side … My other hand was, I think, was just on my belt or on my pocket … I've got my hand closed and my palm down and I reach behind, toward Taylor … Our hands touched and our arms crossed. My hand was never under her skirt. I never grabbed her. My hand was not open."

Is it possible that Swift mistook a back-hand-butt-brush for a open-palm-butt-grab? We suppose that's within the realm of possibility. I once thought Hillary Clinton was going to be President, for example.

But it's unlikely. Any butt will know whether it's being brushed passed or held onto. That's why we don't freak out when people scoot past us in clubs, but do freak on some people when they're invited to dance near us in clubs. Butts know. Butts always know.

And, as for blanket denials of male inappropriate behavior, we all know how those usually turn out.
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