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The Trope: Shower Sex
As seen in: Skyfall, Blue Valentine
Why it's a no-go offscreen: This is one of those lubrication/UTI issues. But also: It is damned slippery in there, and thusly dangerous. If you're hoping to break a bone or possibly get a head-to-tile concussion, this is a good way to do it.
Pictured: Bérénice Marlohe and Daniel Craig in Skyfall.
The Trope: Prison Sex
As seen in: Orange Is The New Black
Why it's a no-go offscreen: Yes, we're certain that the general prison populous finds a way to make this happen. But Alex and Piper just seem like they're pulling off impossible sexual feats by doing the deed all over that facility. No way would that work without getting caught and ending up in solitary confinement.
Pictured: Taylor Schilling and Laura Prepon in OITNB.
The Trope: Library Sex
As seen in: Friends, Atonement
Why it's a no-go offscreen: Raise your hand if you tried this during the undergrad years? If you didn't, we've got news for you: It was dusty as hell, and the people searching for obscure titles definitely saw you and probably told the librarian. If you're wondering why there are random seemingly punitive charges still on your student account, this might be it.
Pictured: Sarah Murdoch and David Schwimmer in Friends.
The Trope: Pool Sex
As seen in: Showgirls, Spring Breakers
Why it's a no-go offscreen: Sure, pool play seems sexy. But all that water really just ends up robbing you of natural lubrication. Really, what's happening onscreen is the origin story for a serious urinary tract infection, which officially does not turn us on. Ouch.
Pictured: Elizabeth Berkley and Kyle MacLachlan in Showgirls.
The Trope: Murder Sex
As seen in: Gone Girl, American Horror Story: Hotel, Basic Instinct
Why it's a no-go offscreen: Let the record show that the reason this should not translate to real life is because it is totally illegal and inarguably not cool. Love: not lethal weapons.
Pictured: Rosamund Pike and Neil Patrick Harris in Gone Girl.