There's a reason Disney princesses' friends are usually of the animal sidekick variety. They're all too self-centered and caught up in being the star of their own love stories to talk to you about what's going on in your life. When Belle walks down the street every morning, she wants casual admirers remarking on her unique brand of beauty mixed with peculiarity. Ariel is busy being a hoarder, and it feels like being her friend would involve shoplifting incidents. Pocahontas harnesses gentle breezes to be her glamour shoot wind machine. Rapunzel isn't even allowed out, so you always have to go to her remote tower to hang out.
That's what's being laid out in this cute video from BuzzFeed, a clever follow-up to this one that imagined what Disney princes would be like in real life. While the lesson of the princes' video is that they would make terrible boyfriends, this one drives home the point that Disney princesses are pretty darn selfish when rendered in real life. They'd be terrible friends.
They also perform dance numbers that sound a lot like "All That Jazz" from Chicago. When do they even have time to rehearse, what with being stuck in towers and freezing entire kingdoms and all? Oh, and they will make your birthday all about them. A princesses' quest for true love never ends, even on your special day.