The NYTimes Discovers Hipsters, Tries To Play Along

There are many, many things to be said about the Times' newest foray into the discussion of Brooklyn (or "Brooklyn-ism"), but we ought to let the Gray Lady speak for herself. But really, the value of this slightly dopey but still accurate portrayal of Brooklyn hipsterdom is all in the adjectives. We've rounded up all the descriptors in the article, which traces one Manhattanite's journey into the magical, uncharted, and utopian neighborhood of Williamsburg (isn't that in Virginia?). There, author Henry Alford sees wondrous sites and tries to become a "hipster" and adjust to the Brooklyn lifestyle, using some pretty select language to discuss it all. Hey, if he thinks the hipsters' neighborhoods are strange, just let him see one of their weddings.
"beard, plaid flannel shirt, vintage work boots"
"beehive of instrument-bearing"
"artisan-loving, kale-devouring"
"byword for cool"
"nanobatched chervil"
"full of flannel and cardigans and work boots"
"scruffy, ponytailed"
"'...a Mumford & Sons look. I want to look like I play the banjo.'”
"a big, lumpy wool cardigan that looked like a lamb had died on me"
"like an organic farmer who has learned that a friend has named her child Monsanto."
"snug-fitting corduroy"
"a wide-lapel vintage shirt"
"homespun and slightly raffish: a country-store clerk who has lost his spectacles in the barley."
"a veritable ocean of beard"
"hirsute Mediterranean-looking"
"eucalyptus-scented towels and many delicate razor strokes"
"grizzled older gentleman"
"the shark of the bike world"
"increasingly hydrocephalic knees"
"totally ridic"
"tippy, thin-wheeled racing bikes"
"dandelion and burdock"
"'gathered in Brooklyn'"
"gulag in da hood"
"boho and Lena Dunham-accustomed"
"affable, heavily tattooed"
"the calm, bespectacled Molasses employee"
"in the classic pose of the noble martyr"
"in the manner of a watermelon seed pinched by two fingers."
"adventuresome quality vis-à-vis fixed-gear bike-riding"
"self-respecting, obvi."
and lastly
"eco-conscious, agrarian-seeming, hair-celebrating nexus of locavorism..." (NY Times)
Photo: Courtesy of Casey Kelbaugh/NYTimes.

More from New York

This may be news to you, but living in New York is kind of expensive. But, while it may always be the land of $17 cocktails and unmentionable rents, the ...
We won't call this list definitive, because rooftops are, after all, all about spontaneity. And, with three summer months to get your toes wet (literally ...
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to eat roasted guinea pig in Flushing, Queens. Oh, is that not how the Statue of Liberty poem ...
Just because you aren't wearing "short-shorts" doesn't mean your dress qualifies as office-and-everywhere appropriate. In fact, a short dress can be more ...
The West Village may get all the attention as the fancy foodie haven of New York City, but that’s just fine for the East Village. All that means is that ...
Appetizers are nice and entrées are essential, but we adore dessert. For real — we feel about ice cream and cookies and brownies the way Liz Lemon feels ...
The only thing more depressing than the end of summer is the number of days between now and the next long weekend. We know: All you want is to sit by a ...
(Paid Content) When a movie like Disney's Queen of Katwe comes out, you know award season is upon us. The inspiring new film has all the makings of an ...
The Lower East Side may be best known to you as the home of rowdy, rollicking nightlife, but that adventure extends to the food scene as well. Restaurants ...
Is there anything better on a Saturday afternoon than a spicy Bloody Mary and some simple — but delicious — bacon and eggs? Didn't think so. Brunch is the ...
You've probably heard about how gritty Soho was back in the '70s and '80s, when artists flocked to the downtown 'hood in search of affordable living and ...
As New Yorkers, we take our pizza seriously. Whether you prefer thin-crust or deep-dish, extra sauce or more cheese, simple-and-plain or loaded with ...
Bars are as bountiful as Starbucks in New York City, but there are a few that raise their drinks — and their dishes — to an art form. So don’t just settle ...
Finding a good facialist is kind of like finding a good partner: Most of us have to shop around a little before we settle on "the one." And, much like bad ...