10 Awful Father's Day Gifts We Can't Believe Exist

Photo: Courtesy of All Modern.
Do we have something against dads? For Mother's Day, stores offer up scented candles, jewelry, chocolates — gifts that may be tacky and sentimental, but at least show some appreciation for the woman who made you. Dads, on the other hand, get no respect.

Most stores' Father's Day gift sections are tacky trinket-towns full of gag gifts, dubious drinking accessories, and presents that assume your dear old dad is an actual slob in desperate need of grooming help. Trust us when we say you can do better.

In the meantime, consider this your guide to what not to do this June 21. Put down the Sharper Image catalog and read on for your guide to what a man doesn't want.
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Photo: Courtesy of Kitson.
Man Bowl
"The Dog Bowl For Men!" the packaging helpfully explains. You know, for when your dad is too classy to eat from a trough.
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Photo: Courtesy of Boy's Stuff.
Socks Sandals
The only thing worse than a gag gift is a gag gift that openly mocks his fashion sense. Buy him something he'll actually use, and get these for your favorite Tumblr teen instead.
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Photo: Courtesy of IWOOT.
Virtual Reality Headset
Then again, maybe any other dimension is preferable to the one in which your children gift you a dog bowl.
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Photo: Courtesy of I Must Haz It.
Thumbs Up ICK Mug
The fact that this was a suggested Father's Day gift on so many sites makes me think we have some unprocessed dad issues to work through.
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Photo: Courtesy of GoateeSaver.
The Goatee Saver
Is giving your dad a terrifying case of Bane mouth just so he can maintain the facial hair that got him chicks in '92 really worth it?
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Photo: Courtesy of Home Wet Bar.
Bundled Up Liquor Flask
Combining dad's two favorite things: sweaters and drinking!
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Photo: Courtesy of Japan Trend Shop.
Nanoblock Sunglasses
One, it looks like your sunglasses have a skin condition. Two, when one of these teensy, tiny blocks falls into your cornea.
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Photo: Courtesy of Amazon.
Nose Shower Gel Dispenser
BRB, meditating on the misandry inherent in our culture if we are legit trying to trick men into using soap by turning their shower into the set of Super Sloppy Double Dare.
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Photo: Courtesy of All Modern.
Mason Jar Shot Glasses
Hipster dad-dom: It begins as a raucous singalong in a dive bar, ends as an emasculating, dainty "tink" of your teensy, tea party-sized shot glass.
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Photo: Courtesy of The Sharper Image.
Men's Electric Back Hair Shaver
Thinking of gifting dad a Norelco or a back scratcher this year? STEP YOUR GAME UP with this footlong weed wacker guaranteed to "put an end to 'caveman back' once and for all." Eww.
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