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My dad used to say my birthday was the celebration of Daddy’s Night nine months earlier. Gross, I know, especially coming from my dad — and being the earliest TMI moment I can remember. (RIP, Pops.) But, here's what this over-sharing memory reminds me: When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic.
The real moment we become a mom is not when that baby pops out, but when we leave our shame at the hospital entrance — when we walk around in an open-back gown, slowly re-learning how to walk after pushing a little bit of life out of us. In those first few months, we are trying to figure out how to take care of a baby and ourselves; we are overly sensitive and at our most vulnerable. We are raging with hormones and could probably hurl a car if you mention our bloated breasts. We have a new, war-ravaged body that we need to face head-on. So, there are certain things that you should not say to new moms. After putting out a few Facebook feelers, I've put together a compilation of "don't"s, ahead.
What do you say to a new mom, then? Tell us our babies are perfect, and congratulate us. Vain? Maybe. But, it took a long nine months to make these babies, and we just want to enjoy them for their wonderful, new-smelling selves. Wishes of “good luck” can be saved for when they turn into teenagers. By then, I believe we'll need all the luck and prayers we can get.