Please upgrade your browser for the best Refinery29 experience. Read more.

10 Things NOT To Say To A New Mom

  1. Begin Slideshow
    10thingsnottosaytoanewmom_opener_maddy
    Illustrated by Madelyn Somers.

    883

    SHARES

    25 comments
    See All Slides

    My dad used to say my birthday was the celebration of Daddy’s Night nine months earlier. Gross, I know, especially coming from my dad — and being the earliest TMI moment I can remember. (RIP, Pops.) But, here's what this over-sharing memory reminds me: When women transform into the bloated, beautiful beasts we become during pregnancy, we are all of a sudden open to public comments — and everyone is a critic.

    The real moment we become a mom is not when that baby pops out, but when we leave our shame at the hospital entrance — when we walk around in an open-back gown, slowly re-learning how to walk after pushing a little bit of life out of us. In those first few months, we are trying to figure out how to take care of a baby and ourselves; we are overly sensitive and at our most vulnerable. We are raging with hormones and could probably hurl a car if you mention our bloated breasts. We have a new, war-ravaged body that we need to face head-on. So, there are certain things that you should not say to new moms. After putting out a few Facebook feelers, I've put together a compilation of "don't"s, ahead.

    What do you say to a new mom, then? Tell us our babies are perfect, and congratulate us. Vain? Maybe. But, it took a long nine months to make these babies, and we just want to enjoy them for their wonderful, new-smelling selves. Wishes of “good luck” can be saved for when they turn into teenagers. By then, I believe we'll need all the luck and prayers we can get.

    Begin Slideshow

MORE SLIDESHOWS

Shopping

Is Your Coat Warm Enough For Another Polar Vortex?

Down-filled parkas and puffer jackets talk a big talk when it comes to bad weather. But, really, how can you tell the one you're thinking about buying online or trying on in a toasty dressing room will actually hold up to colder-than-cold temperatures and other inclement scenarios? A lot more goes into this purchase than read

Shopping

Help! I Want Over-The-Knee Boots That Don't Hurt My Calves

Over-the-knee boots are almost unanimously beloved. If you're averse to pants, the leg coverage allows you roam free without the constraint of trousers. On the other hand (er, foot), the style adds an extra layer of calf protection over your favorite pair of jeans. No matter how you wear 'em, they're likely a staple in read