Please upgrade your browser for the best Refinery29 experience. Read more.
UPDATE: This post was originally published on April 26.
They say your wedding is supposed to be the most wonderful time of your life, but ask any bride in the planning stages and you'll find she's anything but blissful. Bickering relatives, flaky friends, money woes, and the general stress that comes along with throwing a matrimonial shindig can turn any usually sane lady into a screaming ball of anxiety and emotions.
"Brides tend to be stressed out because they are banking their whole future on one day," says Nora Cabrera, a success and life coach for women, and author of Zen Bride. "To them, it's like 'if the wedding is perfect, then their life will be perfect.' The reality is that it's about coming together with your partner and future spouse, sharing your vows together." Sadly, it's easy to get wrapped up in the pursuit of perfection. No wonder many brides lose sight of the big picture and wind up freaking out about things that have no bearing on the actual marriage.
That stress is not only detrimental to your health (we're talking depression, lowered immune system, and sometimes even physical pain), it also impacts how you deal with your loved ones. When we are stressed, we often tend to lash out at others, when what we need to do, says Cabrera, is put things in perspective and detach ourselves from the stressful situation.
Cabrera also blames reality shows and celebrity weddings for the unrealistic expectations many brides have. "They see this fairytale wedding and they think everything looks perfect, and this is kind of a metaphor for life — that it's not about getting to a place where everything is perfect, it's about how you live through the actual experience."
Since living through the experience without losing your marbles can prove challenging, we asked Cabrera to give us some real-world solutions to eight common, stress-inducing situations that many brides face. Click through for her tips on how to tame your inner bridezilla and keep your sanity throughout this whole "blissful" process.
Illustrated by Zhang Qingyun