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When you were a little girl, you spent more time thinking about what outer space is like than what your wedding would be. You'd rather take a mug shot than engagement photos. You've put more effort into blinking than any sort of pre-wedding diet. Face it: You're not the typical bride, and if you've never dreamed about walking down the aisle in a cupcake of a dress, there's no reason you should even consider wearing one.
Just because somebody put a ring on it doesn't mean you've got to fit into the cookie-cutter look, especially when that look is one-use only and you'd rather spend that cash on another week on your honeymoon. For you weirdo brides out there — you rock, and deserve some wedding-day tips that won't give you a case of the eye-rolls.