How To Make Yogurt With Your Own Bacteria

Photo: Martin Lee/REX USA.
No, this is not a drill. Fed up with the dearth of recipes that include female vaginal secretions in a world of semen salad dressing and cum-based cocktails, Cecilia Westbrook set out to make yogurt from her vagina. Luckily (well, depending on your POV on yoni yogurt), our friends over at Motherboard documented the entire unorthodox process. "Every vagina is home to hundreds of different types of bacteria and organisms," they explain. "The dominant bacteria is called lactobacillus, which also happens to be what people sometimes use to culture milk, cheese, and yogurt." Apparently, that commonality was enough to convince Cecilia to grab a wooden spoon, a pan, and a candy thermometer, collect her "home-made ingredient" with the spoon, and wait for the magic to cultivate:

She set up a positive control (made with actual yogurt as the starter culture) and a negative control (plain milk with nothing added), and combined her own home-made ingredient to the third batch of yogurt. Left overnight, the magic of biology created a respectably-sized bowl. Her first batch of yogurt tasted sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue. She compared it to Indian yogurt, and ate it with some blueberries.

Sure, there's a certain hippie romance to tapping into the nutrient-creating power of your own female body (which is one reason people choose to eat their own placentas). But, as it turns out, vagina yogurt is not a very good idea. Click through to Motherboard for all of the juicy details on Cecilia's culinary adventure — and to discover just why you should not try this one at home.
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