The 10 Weirdest Things Siri Says

Photo: Courtesy Apple.
Siri is certainly helpful if you need to know the day’s weather or settle a quick bet. However, depending on what you ask her, she can also be incredibly sassy. If you’ve used her voice controlled talents at all, you probably knew that already. But, you may not have known about these 10 surprising responses she has.

With just about every update to iOS, Siri gets a little smarter, more talented, and a little more quirky — although sometimes, it would appear, those quirks may be unintentional.

We’ve rounded up our favorite answers to your queries. Some are funny, some are silly, and some are actually kind of useful. Check them out and see for yourself.

Siri Plays Rihanna When You Ask Her To Play What?
If you’ve updated to iOS 8.4 with Apple Music, you can reportedly ask Siri to “Play loud farts” (yes, deep down, we’re all seven), and instead of playing an orchestra of flatulence, she’ll play “What’s My Name” by Rihanna. We’re thinking this is more of a Siri error than a Siri feature, but nonetheless, it’s pretty hilarious. However, when we tried this gag a few days after this unusual response was first reported, our iPhone tried to find fart sound apps in the App Store instead. Which is helpful too, we guess?

Photo: Courtesy Apple.
Siri Frowns On Your Lack Of Mathematical Knowledge
Ask Siri to divide a number by zero, and she will tell you that it’s undefined. But if you try to divide zero by zero, Siri’s got a diatribe in store for you. Not only does she tell you that it doesn’t make sense — it’s like dividing zero cookies among zero friends — she finishes her explanation by saying “And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.” Well, we weren’t sad before, but we are now!

Mirror, Mirror on the wall…
When you ask Siri the classic phrase “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” — she’s actually got a variety of different answers in store. Most of the time, she indulges in your mirror-esque flattery by telling you that you are the fairest of them all (Oh Siri, you’re too kind), but she may also ask “Snow White? Is that you?”

Roll A Dice
It’s boardgames night with your friends, but somehow, the dice are missing. No worries. You can use Siri instead. Ask her to “Roll a die,” “Roll a dice,” or “Roll two dice,” and she will randomly generate the numbers of a roll. Super handy!

I’m Drunk
Whether you’re actually inebriated or not, you can always tell Siri that you’re drunk. And when you do, she’ll request that you “Just don’t breathe on her,” but, more useful, she also serves up a link so you can call a taxi.
Photo: Courtesy Apple.

What's Your Favorite Movie?
If you ask Siri what her favorite movie is, she may tell you she doesn't watch many movies. Or, she may give a far funnier response: "I've heard that Blade Runner is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants." Ha ha, Siri (although, that really is an excellent piece of filmography, if we do say so ourselves). Somewhat similarly, if you ask her what movie you should watch, she'll pull up a selection of highly rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes, but tell you, "Personally, I'm a Kubrick fan."

Tell Me A Joke, Siri
The things we do when we're bored. If you're in need of a new PC joke, ask Siri to tell you one. She's got a variety of different responses, and some are pretty good. For example: "The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense." OK, maybe it depends on what your definition of "good" is.

What Does The Fox Say?
Do you remember that song and video, "What Does The Fox Say?" Siri does. If you ask her that question, she'll say something like "Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!" If you want to impress your niece or nephew — kids love this.

Tell Me A Haiku
Ask Siri to read you a haiku or tell you a story, and she'll often come up with one. As for a haiku, she told us: "All day and all night, I have listened as you spoke. Charge my battery."

When Will The World End?
If you ask Siri something like "When is the world going to end?" — she's got some opinions. She may say, "Right after you hear the words, 'fire it up!'" or say something a little closer to home, like, "As long as you keep me charged, we should be just fine." Good to know.

More from Tech