Refinery29 has interviewed plenty of sugar babies before — both male and female — but what is it like on the other financial end of this transaction? Here, we interview one 40-something sugar mama who uses Arrangement.com to find her sugar babies — all four of them — and is thinking of giving them a $10,000 "gift fund."
Tell me about why you decided to try sugar dating?
"Honestly, a friend had recommended that I try something like this. I work in the legal profession and I've just been really busy pursuing my career, so it was hard to find time to date in the traditional ways. And, I was getting a little too old to be going on all these one-on-one dates all the time where it wasn't going anywhere. I did want to find that intimacy physically but I didn't want to be just trying in bars. I felt like I was closing the chapter on that part of my life. So I decided that it would be good to have these arrangements where I could have companionship and regular company. It was just an easier way to meet my lifestyle and what I needed right now."
Can you tell me a little bit about your dating history?
"My dating life in my 20s was really boring. I had a long-term boyfriend for about 3 years and it was fun, but then I went to law school kind of late, and once I went into law school, I decided I wanted to pursue that. So I just started getting really busy, and that relationship fell apart. Our careers were just going in different directions.
"Since then, it’s just been hard to find someone consistent. I'd meet someone, and we’d start and stop for two months at a time, and it was just exhausting. You know, we would get into that honeymoon period, and then it would be like, Oh, I want to see you several nights a week. I just had other priorities, and it’s hard to foster real intimacy if you’re not putting the other person first, and to be honest I was putting my work first. I think once you get into your early 30s, a lot of men, whether or not they want to admit it, want to settle down and I just wasn’t fitting in the mold of what a typical 31 or 32-year-old woman wanted. So it just kept happening over and over again and I realized that it just wasn’t giving me what I needed and I wasn't being fair to them."