Love 'em or hate 'em, strapless bras are a pain we have to work around. On the one hand, I really want to champion them; I look wistfully at various styles while shopping online and wonder what could be better than the freedom to wear anything — weird criss-cross straps? the mass hysteria of the off-the-shoulder top trend? dare I say it, a crop top? — without having to worry about a pesky strap or two peeking out.
But in reality, as a woman extremely well-endowed in the cleavage arena, I’ve encountered many limitations. Some strapless bras are stiffly shaped and seemingly spiked with Victorian era corset underwire that I feel breathless from ribcage constriction. Others, while at least forgiving enough to allow for proper respiration, ride down so often that you’re shimmying through your day fighting a losing battle against gravity. (Believe me, I would not wish upon my worst enemy a sweaty summer evening with a strapless bra slip-sliding down one’s torso as panic builds over the very real possibility of a public nip-slip.)