Poor ol' dad. He's already gotten too many books (he never cracked The Corrections), CDs (Nas just ain't his thang), and random gadgets from Brookstone (that monogrammed steak brander is just plain weird). Now you're plumb out of ideas with little time left before Father's Day. Lucky for you, lazypants, our crack staff of unpaid interns has dug up a whole mess of gifts to up the fun factor, skip the cheese, tap into some of his favorite bad habits, and you leave you with plenty of pocket change. Dad…these cheap thrills are for you!
Clockwise, from top left:
Social "Dont's" Coasters, $13 per set
There's nothing more embarrassing in this world than the unchecked behavior of a father as he kicks back and "gets real" with your friends. Except your mother's unchecked behavior, of course (but that's a whole different holiday). Set him straight with these guidelines for civilized comportment. What's easier than slipping a subtle hint under his beer?
Available at Zeichpress.
Jack Spade Lighter Covers, $10
Dad loves his smokes. Dad loves his plaid. Dad could use a little sprucing up. Kill three birds with one stone with these plaid lighter jackets that attractively conceal that embarrassing "Jets" Bic lighter he's been carrying around for years.
Available at Jack Spade (exclusively at the SoHo Store).
Cigar Style, $18.95
Cigars stink, but man do dads love 'em! He'll be the toast of the boy's club once he starts quoting gems like this Twain laugher: "Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar."
Available from Assouline.
Make-Your-Own Hot Sauce Kit, $19.95
All dads share an uncanny facility with all things involving a grill or open flame, as well as an unnatural tolerance for hot, spicy food. Well, at least that's what they'd like you to believe whenever they pull out the "Hail to the Chef" apron. Now they can concoct sauces worthy of their iron tastebuds.
Available at Scientifics Online.
Jack Cards, from $2.99
If you're REALLY pressed for time (and cash), at least you can still get a swell card. Pick the perfect one online, and this nifty card-obsessed website will make sure it arrives, stamped and addressed, by Father's Day. That is, unless you're so irredeemably lazy that you can't even click on our link.
Available at www.jackcards.com.
Guinness Heritage Pint Glasses, $16.95 for two
Classy and vintage...just like Dad. Studies, most likely carried out by besotted scientists at Trinity College, Dublin, claim that the iron-rich Guiness is good for the heart. Nothing is more important than daddy's health, and now he can take his medicine in style.
Available at the Guinness Store.