The Secret Lives Of The "Perfect Couples" Living In Perfume Ads

Wouldn't it be nice to actually wake up on Christmas morning to a BMW with a bow on it in your driveway instead of underwear and a scarf? Or to reach orgasm simply by way of massaging in your passionfruit-scented shampoo? Or to be objectified while eating a big, juicy burger in a skimpy bikini? Kidding.

Point is, real life isn't like the commercials. Clydesdales rarely save puppies from big bad wolves and we have yet to effectively wipe up spilled punch with a single paper towel. But, ah, that's the beauty of good marketing. We keep on buying shit in the hopes of finally, one day, reaching aspirational #lifegoals status.

And no one does aspirational quite like perfume brands. Will a spritz of fragrance lead you into the arms of your soulmate and give you the sudden power to glide gracefully over Italian cobblestone streets in stilettos? Probably not. You'll just smell good and that'll be it. But don't hate those obnoxiously homogeneous, perfect perfume couples — they have real lives and struggles just like the rest of us. Lost luggage, forbidden love, threesomes... these are their (fictional) stories, ahead.