Photographed by Maria del Rio.
What's your standby date outfit?
"Something basic – I’m a little weary of freaking people out with the whole fashion blogger thing. Also, it’s S.F., so I err on the side of casual. No heels on a first date, for sure."
Do you find it better than dating IRL?
"It’s definitely easier, but I’m not sure I would say that it’s better, because it’s so
easy and free. I think there’s somehow less accountability. A date or interaction doesn’t mean as much because you’re just a photo, a phone number, a text message. There’s less humanness to it."
How would you describe the dating scene in S.F.?
"Brutal? There are tons
of amazing guys in S.F. – smart, funny, good-looking, etc. – but the city is a playground and it’s tough to find someone who really wants a long-term commitment. I also think the spirit of the city has changed in recent years, or maybe I’m just more aware of it. With the economic prosperity and cool entrepreneurial vibe, there’s a sense that the city is a place where dreams become reality. Everyone’s chasing dreams, looking for the next best thing – in life and in love."
What is the one criminal offense you see potential suitors making over and over again?
"Lack of effort. I may be in the minority with the whole actually reading people’s profiles thing, but if you’ve got one bathroom selfie and two sentences about who you are and what you’re about…no dice. If you’re not putting in the effort, why would dating you be any different?"
Spill all the deets on the worst online date you've ever gone on...
"Worst online date that wasn’t actually a date: After a couple of quick messages and a phone number exchange, this guy drunk texted me all kinds of insecurities before our first date, e.g. 'It’s okay, just admit that you’re not that into me.' He apologized the next day, but the first date never happened. Lack of confidence is a total dealbreaker."
Now tell us about the best one.
"My hat is off to guys in S.F.; I’ve been on some pretty rad dates. Recent faves: Farmers market and city stroll, then bingo at a Mission bar. But, probably the best one has been the Alameda Flea Market on a Saturday in January. We were all bundled up and did the food trucks and shopping. Swoon!"
What's the funniest thing that's ever happened in either an online interaction or on a date?
"Penis pictures. Can we talk about that? I mean, really. That does not make me want to date you, dude. Though, I guess that’s also probably not the point."
It seems that OkCupid started to make it cool to online date and Tinder really pushed it over the edge into mainstream. Why do you think that is?
"OkCupid and Tinder both cater to a younger crowd – it’s in the branding and the voice of product – and the message is different. It’s not: 'Hey, meet your soulmate and the one person you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with.' There’s a casual vibe. Also, they’re free. No investment or downside."
If you had to give advice to someone who was just starting out online, what would you tell them?
"Don’t sweat first dates; they’re the easiest. It’s like a screening. Do we have good vibes? Are you a decent human being? Is there something here worth exploring in more detail? Cake. You can do it."