Lesley Arfin

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1. The View. "Rosie is gone and I'm sure my obsession will lessen because of it. It might be corny but I fucking love those brassy, sassy broads. I used to hate Joy and now I love her! Elizabeth sucks, but it's fun when they fight and she's the only one with opposing views. Actually, they all have different views and that's why it's called "The View," and that's why I love it!

2. Vintage Ungaro. The Parallel line of Ungaro from the '80s just fits my silhouette perfectly. The backlash to all this baby-doll-looking like-your-pregnant-or-five-years-old bullshit is going to be the tailored, hemmed, tucked, and pleated look that Ungaro is so good at. Don't copy me!

3. A.D. Miles and Michael Showalter. These are the two people I have crushes on. They both have girlfriends, so it's just for fun. Plus I don't know the former at all. Michael is my friend. Miles has red hair and a Dead Poets Society vibe, while Showalter works an "I'll seduce you but pretend like I'm not seducing you" kind of attitude. Wait maybe it's not an attitude, maybe he's just not seducing me.

4. Embroidery. This is my shit. Sunday nights I drink brown rice tea, watch 60 Minutes, and work on my big pillow. My big pillow is just a pillowcase that I'm embroidering lots of crap on. It will be a cute "show" pillow. I got the idea from a pillow I saw in East Hampton that was like $384,539,045.00.

5. Silkwood. I love how this movie starts with Meryl Streep being all white trash and ends with her in a black-leather jacket starting a union and taking back the night. And then dying. And Cher is in it and plays a lesbo (finally)."

Leslie Arfin is the author of Dear Diary, just out on Vice Books.

1. The View. "Rosie is gone and I'm sure my obsession will lessen because of it. It might be corny but I fucking love those brassy, sassy broads. I used to hate Joy and now I love her! Elizabeth sucks, but it's fun when they fight and she's the only one with opposing views. Actually, they all have different views and that's why it's called "The View," and that's why I love it!

2. Vintage Ungaro. The Parallel line of Ungaro from the '80s just fits my silhouette perfectly...