Illustrated By Ly Ngo.
Your ticket to pleasure begins with touch — whether it’s stroking, rubbing, or circling around your clitoris. “Get a bottle of lube and let your imagination go wild with your fingers,” recommends Claire Cavanah, author of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex
. “Just roll around with yourself and connect.”
Look for lubricants that are free of parabens and glycerins, which are safer if they slip inside the body. We like Sliquid
, a company that makes an impressive variety of natural and women-friendly lubes.
Packed with twice as many nerve endings as the penis, the clitoris is super-sensitive — too sensitive to touch, for some women. “If that’s the case, you can stroke yourself around the clitoris in circles,” recommends Allison. “It’s a matter of exploring and learning what your body likes the best and trying different things so that you can figure out your own formula.”
Try stroking in a figure eight, up and down, or side to side to see which feels best. You can also experiment with lightly tapping or even slightly squeezing the clitoris, to amp up the sensation. When you’re turned on, try slipping a finger or two inside of yourself.
“If you put your hands inside and curl your fingers up as if you’re going toward your belly button, you’ll find a spongy-type spot,” says Mayer. The spot she’s referring to is the G-spot, which some sexologists believe is the internal legs of the clitoris.
“If you press on it, it may feel like you want to pee,” warns Mayer. But this is actually a good sign — if you keep the pressure there, the peeing sensation will go away and you’ll relax into pleasure.
“When you find the stroke that’s really going to get you there, you’ll notice your vulva becoming more plump. Then you might want to speed up your strokes and maybe put a little more pressure,” says Allison.
It doesn’t matter what strokes it takes to get you there, as long as you’re oohing and ahhing.