Let's Talk About Sex (Drive), Baby
Real women have voracious sexual appetites — or so it would seem, judging by the hot-and-heavy messages currently dominating pop culture. Go behind the societal myth, though, and one in three women say that they’re actually uninterested in sex. And, it’s not just premenopausal women we're talking about; in fact, studies show that they're more sexually driven and sexually active than women aged 18-26. Women of all ages, relationship statuses, and sexual orientations can have low (or missing) libidos.
Is it really a reason to worry? Jill Blakeway, renowned NYC acupuncturist, director of the YinOva Center and author of Sex Again, says it is. "Sex in a long relationship is one of the things keeps us bonded in ways that we don’t necessarily think of," she says. "In Chinese medicine, we say there’s an energetic connection we create when we have sex with someone, and that’s really important to a relationship." So, what’s happening to so many women that causes them to just say “meh” to sexual satisfaction? And what can we do to get our collective groove back?
Before reaching solutions, it's important to understand the cause. For 70% of Americans with a low sex drive, the problem is due to imbalances in a posse of hormones responsible for sexual desire: cortisol, thyroid, estrogen, DHEA and, testosterone. (Yes, testosterone.) “You want all three of those hormones on your team," says physician, gynecologist and The Hormone Cure author Sara Gottfried. "If you have any of these working against you, you’re screwed. Or, you’re having mercy sex, or you’re not having fun in the bedroom.”
And about that testosterone? Though many think of the hormone as a dude thing, it’s a vital part of a woman’s hormonal makeup as well. (Fun fact: Women have ten times more testosterone than estrogen.) Testosterone in women is responsible for confidence, setting boundaries, and asking for what you want — vital stuff for maintaining a healthy sexual appetite. So, if testosterone levels (or the levels of any of the aforementioned hormonal "sex drive five") become particularly low, so can your readiness for a romp in the sack.
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