6 Perfumes For Girls Who Never Got The Pony They Wanted

You know you're a horse girl if...you had more blue ribbons above your bed than *NSYNC posters; you learned the importance of exfoliation years before everyone else — because you always had dirt embedded from neck to ankle; you once considered carrots and molasses cookies a balanced meal; you smell manure and instantly feel like you're home.

And once a horse girl, always a horse girl. The farther I get from my own riding days, the more nostalgic I become, and I only recently realized that I might be turning into a full-blown horse lady. My fridge is covered in horse magnets, my library is held in place by horse bookends, and my only wall art is a blown-up photograph of my horse Curly. Oh, and I still have the remnants of a horse tattoo on my neck. (I'm in the removal process — some chunks of tail and stomach are missing.)

I should probably slow my roll, but fuck that — let's go big! I want to smell like I'm back at the barn, and the six perfumes ahead are how I'm getting there. But you don't have to be equine-obsessed to appreciate them: If you like leather, wood, rose, or grass, there's something here for you.
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If this is supposed to capture the essence of a stable, then it's the cleanest one to ever exist — and probably houses unicorns whose stalls never need to be mucked. Which is good news for people who want to smell faintly of fresh alfalfa and perfectly worn leather; less so for those hoping to get a whiff of horse sweat and grain spit-up.

Demeter Stable, $20, available at Demeter Fragrance.
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Despite the fact that I've watched The Longest Ride more times than I care to admit (Scott Eastwood, I'm single), I'm no fan of rodeos. But I am into this unisex fragrance inspired by them. Based on the notes — leather, suede, amber — you might expect it to be heavy and campfire-y; instead, it surprises with an energizing kick, like a spur to the side.

Byredo Rodeo, $230, available at Byredo.
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There are fragrances for the Marlboro men of the horse world — and there are fragrances for the Charlotte Casiraghis. The juice inside this chic stirrup bottle is a gorgeous blend of leather and rose that, predictably, falls firmly in the latter category.

Hermès Galop d'Hermès, $210, available at Hermès stores.
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Forget candles that smell like pine needles or cinnamon. This warm, leathery scent — like a Ralph Lauren ad come to life — is the only thing I'll be burning through December.

Lafco Saddle Leather Tack Room Candle, $60, available at Bluemercury.
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If you're already hooked on Westworld and fantasizing about traveling to the Wild West, take a vicarious trip through this scent. The notes of sagebrush, grass, thyme, and wood can almost make you believe you're pounding bourbon in the saloon while tumbleweeds roll by.

D.S. & Durga
Cowboy Grass, $125, available at D.S. & Durga.
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You didn't think I was going to cheat you out of a truly horse-y scent, did you? Consider the others in the lineup well-trained thoroughbreds; this one, the name of which translates to "skin of the beast," is the wild mustang.

Along with more traditional spicy and woody notes, it's got castoreum and civet and skatole, oh my! In real-people terms, that means two types of animal secretions and a chemical found in fecal matter. So yeah, it's certainly not for the faint of heart (or vegans), but if you want to smell like raw, hot, animalistic sex...have at it.

Liquides Imaginaires Peau de Bête, $300, available at Aedes Perfumery.
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