Horrifying Hats: The Worst Toppers Around

Hats are tricky business, that's for sure. When they're good, they're so good, but when they're bad—run for the hills! We see terrible hats on the reg during summer, which inspired us to turn to the internet to see what's lurking in the deepest, darkest recesses of the e-commerce landscape. And—lo! The horror! From fancy mosquito net caps to ones that look like a mold eruption, these hats are definitely the most egregious head toppers out there.
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For when toupees and wigs feel too fancy... May we recommend the hairy baseball cap?
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Things this hat is great at doing: Looking fancy at a beekeeper's convention. Things this hat is not great at doing: Helping you make friends.
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This hat comes pre-equipped with faux bullet holes, which is perfect for the kind of person who wants others to think that they've been shot in the head before.
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"Uh, sorry ma'am? There seems to be a moldy fern thing that's just exploded out of your head. Oh, that's a hat? Why?"
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Ew, right? (But shh, is it just us or is there something particularly appealing with being able to open beer bottles with you head?)
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Coneheads, rejoice! There is finally a satin baseball hat with a delicate buckle strap available to fit your misshapen cranium!
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Yes that is a deer with arrows poking out of it, bleeding into a cap you tie under your chin. Now do you get why the model looks so fazed?
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If LL Cool J, Liam Gallagher, and Bowie had a hat baby, this might be it.
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We wish we could call Freud up and ask him what he thought of this hat that makes your head look like it's being birthed out of an extra-pillowy lady part.
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A performance rice patty hat for the semi-racist gardener in your life.
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Granted, this is a step up from wearing the actual beer case on your head.
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We have a feeling that the sunglasses come as a package deal with this hood. We sure as hell wouldn't want people recognizing us in this thing, either.
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